Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Storm segment
- Again Tenay and Taz don’t know what a rubber match is, since Storm has won 3 and Angle has only won one match
- The Impact Zone is so fucking eerily quiet….
- It’s really a shame that Roode probably had to spend 8 months salary from TNA on his suit
- Wow….face vs face for the main event, interesting
Segment 2: Love segment, Match 1: Gunner Vs AJ, Magnus segment
- I kinda feel bad that EY is now going to win the Knockouts Championship soon…remember the TV Championship? Me neither
- I really could give negative two shits about this whole AJ/Daniels/Kaz storyline because I guarantee whatever the reason it’s gonna suck
- And this “DDT on the concrete” thing is kinda overplayed too
- God Morgan and Crimson suck the life out of any promo they’re in
Segment 3: Bully/Sting segment, Match 2: Magnus Vs Crimson, EY segment
- I don’t think Bully knows what an appointment means
- Why is Brooklyn the only borough that gets broken down into sections in wrestling?
- Can someone finally fucking beat Crimson already? Undefeated only means something if you say how long or how many matches
- I turned to text a friend and this match was over already…that’s awful
- Poor EY has to shill for Bellator
- What would the boys in the back think if Eric doesn’t want to fight a woman? Well I guess it depends on who you ask *coughAnglecough*
Segment 4: Garret segment, Maddy/Gail segment
- GO THE FUCK AWAY GARRET. NO ONE CARES WHO IS TRAINING YOU.
- I think this is the first time Gail has spoken in two months
Segment 5: Match 3: Madison Vs. Mickie cage match
- Hey look the Knockouts Tag Team Championships….remember those??
- Gail is teasing dissension now…hooray
- So did TNA just have this cage match so they could advertise Caged? Seems that way
Segment 6: Match cont, Aries segment
- This really should be a cage match with Mickie and Gail, since its Gail that’s really been dodging out of a fair title match
- That was really the most non-eventful cage match I’ve ever seen
- And this sweetened crowd noise is awful
- Aries is exactly right, he is more entertaining talking about him going to the ring to talk
Segment 7: Knockouts segment, Hardy segment, Aries segment, ODB segment
- This segment is awful
- Velvet just screamed “Shots!” at the end of it
- Hey Jeff you know how you’re talking about being called the winner and not feeling like one…how the fuck do you think Sting felt? And that wasn’t storyline
- Aries has consistently been one of the best parts of Impact, yet wasted on the opening match of every PPV
- Alex Shelley! Yes. But srsly…why did this take so fucking long to do?
- See Shelley understands that there needs to be logic, thank you Alex
- This is the only storyline in TNA that holds my interest
- So…….ODB wants EY to abuse women? Awesome. Didn’t TNA have a policy against that?
Segment 8: Match 4: EY Vs. Angelina, Storm segment
- Well…..this was a waste of a segment, don’t even know if EY’s comedy can save this
- Nice to see someone watches TNA
Segment 9: Match 5: Storm Vs. Hardy
- The main event intros take up way too much time
Segment 10: Match cont
- I hate when TNA announcers point out people who were in big PPV matches haven’t been on the show in weeks
- Speaking of, and not that I’m complaining, Devon, Pope and the Devettes…where are they?
- Wow, TNA is going to have another number one contender’s match only this time its face vs. face vs. face…..this is awful
- TNA doesn’t have any face champions do they? Roode, Gail, Gail/Maddy, Aries, Robbie…..nope no face champions, that’s a problem
- By the way, if you’ve noticed I haven’t spoken much of this match…it’s because there’s not much to speak of
- I’m excited to see what Impact is like in London….supposedly the English crowds are crazy for Impact…we shall see
- Wow, so the Twist of Fate is a total no sell move now isn’t it?
- Wow….this finish is awful, just fucking putrid
- This ref was in the wrong position for his spot and stared at the pin attempt for like 15 seconds
- This is just kinda awful
TNH8 Scale
Logic: 2 Russos out of 5
Wrestling: 1.5 Russos out of 5
Overall: 3.5 Russos out of 10
Worst Impact I’ve seen since I started these reviews, they need to turn this around