Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment, Maddy and Gail segment
- I thought Roode said he wasn’t going to show up on Impact until Lockdown?
- I really wish I wasn’t getting so tired of Roode
- As much as I hate heel vs heel, I’d rather see Roode Vs. Bully
- Storm needs to stop wrestling in handicap matches
- Madison is still the best thing in the Knockouts division that doesn’t have a penis
Segment 2: Match 1: Madison Vs. Velvet
- I love Madison’s fingerhearts
- No, that’s not slang
- They should have gotten Maddy a tiara that she doesn’t have to hold in place for half her entrance
- Labia count: 1
- Decent match, even though that was an awful spear by Velvet
Segment 3: Bully/Roode segment, Dixie/Hogan segment
- Dixie, if you never trusted Eric, why is he still employed??
- Why do we need the hidden camera for this? It’s been advertised and promoted by Dixie, surely they knew this would be filmed
- This is the worst conversation I’ve ever heard
- How is Hogan responsible for Roode? Roode was fighting against Hogan.
- I love that you can clearly hear kids on roller coasters there
Segment 4: Angle segment, Aries segment, Match 2: Red Vs. Blue
- Umm Anderson isn’t a heel, why would he fight Jeff?
- Aries Vs. Bully feud?? Okay TNA, color me interested
- Aries is amazing, he truly is
- Tag team match? I like this.
- TNA can only screw this up…oh yeah, there’s Morgan
Segment 5: Match cont.
- God these two are like watching two different coats of paint dry
- Oh wow, what a surprise…a no-finish before Lockdown, I wonder if they’ll meet in a cage?
- That reminds me, there’s been no mention of Lethal Lockdown yet, is everyone okay with this?
- Tazz word of the day: “bohemonths”
Segment 6: Joe Park segment, Match 3: Hardy vs. Anderson, Music video
- Okay, this is getting old now seeing the same thing week in and week out
- Is this just going to be Abyss with memory loss?
- The amount of fucks I give for this match is currently set at -56
- Why is Jeff walking like a zombie?
- Oh yeah…drugs
- That match was fine, but pointless
- Yeah guys…I’m skipping this video; summary :Beer and Rednecks.
Segment 7: Wedding planner segment, Bischoff segment
- Ha, Eric wants to wear the dress
- This actress is awful for the wedding planner, I’ve counted at least 5 different accents
- Wedding in a steel cage…wow
- God this is bad, even by Bischoff’s standards
- Bischoff had nothing to do with Sting leaving
- “One thing left” = “Mentioning three things” TNA logic everyone.
- Jesus fuck another match with Garrettt and Gunner?? I’d rather shoot myself
- Wow, piped in cheers are piped in
Segment 8: Storm segment, Match 4: Bully/Roode Vs Storm/Aries
- Storm build was nice to see, way better than that shitty video
- Aries’ TNAtron actually calls him “The greatest man that ever lived” only thing they’ve done right
- Oh my God, Taz actually called back to the 6-man tag match…bonus points to him
Segment 9: Match cont.
- This Aries/Bully exchange is awesome, please let this be in a cage
- MCMG next week on Impact? Again…you have my attention
- Aries just did a missile dropsault, that’s awesome
- Roode again tossing Bully to the wolves, I really wish that was the feud
Segment 10: Dixie/Hogan bullshit
- Jesus this is awful.
- Hogan is going to succumb to peer pressure, what a role model
- Whoop-de-doo, Hogan is back, who cares?
TNH8 Scale
Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5
Logic: 2.5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 6 Laganas out of 10