Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Apologies in advance, I’m drunk and angry the Yankees lost…so this may be a brutal review of TNA
Segment 1: Roode promo
- TNA is in Knoxville, not a black man is seen in the crowd
- I really don’t want to see children cheering when Storm asks if there are beer drinkers in this place
- Storm is so gonna turn on Roode at Bound For Glory Please say no
Segment 2: Hogan flashback, Match 1: Gunner Vs. Kaz
- We’re gonna see Hogan memories in TNA tonight, this will not subside my rage
- This arena looks a lot emptier than outside arenas normally look
- Wow TNA only showed two twitter responses forpeople’s favorite Hulk Hogan moments, and one was him beating Iron Sheik
- Wow, that was such a shitty match, Gunner wins with a non-finish and supposedly working on an injury Kaz had years ago….
- Stop saying Immortal’s Gunner, there’s no other Gunner to confuse him with
Segment 3: Anderson promo
- Anderson is apologizing for a heel turn almost 6 months ago…..wow really?
- Wasn’t he in Immortal for only like a week and a half? Is this really the entire story?
- I’m now blaming the Yankees losing on Bully Ray
- Falls Count Anywhere And I Mean Freakin Anywhere match……odds are 3:1 it ends in the ring
Segment 4: Bischoff segment, Kendrick segment, Mickie and Velvet come to the ring
- Wow, can I have my 5 minutes back for those two interview segments
Segment 5: Match 2: Mickie and Velvet Vs. Winter and Maddy
- Mickie with the Y Angle lens
- I want some roast beef now
- Velvet redefines “hot tag”
- Wow, Madison needs to wear underwear that don’t so closely resemble her skin tone, I think I just gained an amateur gynecology license watching that pin
Segment 6: Abyss teaming with Hogan, Angle/Bischoff segment
- Both these moments have just been Hogan entering the ring
- Remember when they fought for the WWE Hall of Fame ring? Good times(?)
- Bischoff wanting to get rid of Jeff is the first smart thing they’ve ever said on this show, but not for the right reasons
- Hardy will be TNA champ by January and that sickens me
- Oh great Hardy decked Bischoff
- FYI I legit fell asleep during this segment so I had to rewind, this is how much I love you Mayhem Universe
Segment 7: Jeff segment,Hogan moment, Match 3: Joekozuna Vs. Crimson
- Jeff said if he had to leave TNA it’d be on his terms, I’d say that’s up to the courts to decide
- Wow, that fake court drama is really a highlight?
- Yeah….shouldn’t this be a ppv match?
- Crimson has the worst undefeated streak in wrestling history
- More Twitter moments from Hogan fans, one from WCW and one from WWE, nicely vetted TNA
- Jesus this “injury” angle is fucking awful
- Wow a horrible roll up, seriously worst “undefeated” streak ever
- A roll up is the “We’ll Insure Anybody” Impact of the Night
Segment 8: Storm segment, Roode package, Match 4: Roode Vs. Storm
- Why is Storm pretending to be angry now?
- So they’re trying to build up Roode like “Rocky” aren’t they?
- Roode’s dad has a powerful stache
- Hey Taz, Storm and Roode used to fight all the time when they were members of AMW and Team Canada
Segment 9: Storm Vs Roode cont
- Wow with no build at all AJ vs. Daniels is now an I Quit match
- If you didn’t listen to commentary, you’d never know it
- Can it be called the Double R spinebuster if he’s called Bobby Roode again?
- So Angle’s interference meant nothing?
- Are they gonna play that Storm “couldn’t pull the trigger” on the superkick?
Segment 10: Hogan’s “retirement”
- I hate fake retirements
- Wow, security footage…Jesus
- Hulk said he’ll fight Sting and if Sting wins, Dixie gets the company back……so I guess that’s legally binding??
- Ugh, this was an awful show