Mad Mike Reviews Total Divas: Maximum Legwork

We’re coming close to the end of the first half of Total Divas and after last week’s Vegas shenanigans, let’s see what happens.

Segment 1

• Who the fuck has always dreamt of being in Maxim?
• Vincent and Cameron are really the worst fucking people ever
• Cameron can’t even push fake buttons properly
• Cena just seems like a damn great dude
• Nattie clearly doesn’t give a shit about Maxim
• Jojo doesn’t know what a “push” is
• STOP FUCKING SINGING JOJO
• My ears are bleeding
• My fucking ears are bleeding!!
• Um. Do either of you actually want to wrestle??
• Having your parents meet your partner’s parents doesn’t automatically mean marriage idiots
• Cameron has already made two button pushing references…I hate her
• Hey look it’s AJ and Kaitlyn!!
• That shin doesn’t look deformed
• Wow young Nikki actually looks like a decent person

Segment 2

• So this Maxim shoot is basically this
• John Cena in a coffeehouse is weird
• Um Nikki, your career survived you guys taking almost 2 years off
• Cameron gets her dogs nails done….she is the worst person ever
• I’ve finally figured it out, Jojo is Ashley from Fresh Prince
• Hey Jojo, maybe if you learned how to wrestle more than one bump….you’d stand out more

Segment 3

• Jon Uso is having none of this singing talk
• Jojo also has clearly never met Lilian Garcia
• Wow nice attempt at a dead lift German suplex there Naomi
• Brie is forgetting that she debuted without anyone even knowing Nikki existed
• Oh man Nattie with the unintended Hooters Slam!
• Oh fuck this sounds awful
• Naomi’s dad seems fucking awesome though
• Vincent is awful, and his father is awful

Segment 4

• I appreciate the idea that Jojo had, but my God is it awfully executed
• Vincent needs to stop wearing things around his neck
• This is something you should probably have discussed beforehand Vinny
• The best reasons to propose to someone include: cultural reasons and “because my daddy wants it”
• Ross and Rachel these two are not
• A break kinda means that you do go somewhere Vinny

Segment 5

• It’s 3 months Nikki….your man was out for months and months at a time, calm your tits
• Oh great…Cameron is the fucking Flava Flav of this group
• Vince is such a fucking pimp, I love it
• HAHAHAHAHAAHA Bray Wyatt is following buzzards in the background

Segment 6

• They couldn’t get Jojo a matching outfit?
• Thank God Jojo realized they sucked
• It sounded just as bad in the studio FYI

Segment 7

• They really should have tried this out on house shows
• Nikki…it’s a slight fracture, calm the fuck down