Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Dixie segment

  • Is this really how you want the owner of your company portrayed?
  • This is why WWE makes a distinction between Vince McMahon and “Mr. McMahon”
  • Why didn’t she just fire Daniels and Kaz months ago?
  • She’s pointing out that Impact doesn’t screen anything they run…awesome
  • How is Dixie a face because of this?
  • Daniels should say that she found someone to fill her hole
  • Seriously…how the fuck is Dixie a face in this???
  • Wow awful fake punch Serge

Segment 2: Match 1: Crimson Vs. Aries, Hogan rambling

  • That water spray was the start of a feud…YUP, that’s how bad this product is
  • The PPV is Sunday, and we have TWO matches announced….way to go TNA
  • Of course Joe interferes…God I hate TNA
  • Crimson has the least “impact”ful “undefeated” streak in wrestling history
  • If Crimson ran through everybody…wouldn’t he be the fucking champion?
  • Has it really been over a year of this bullshit? That’s pathetic
  • I have no idea what any of Hogan said

Segment 3: Knockouts segment, Hogan segment

  • God Brooke looks awful in HD
  • Oh good Mickie James heel turn….I guess
  • Get it? Because she’s “Hardcore Country” so she should be in the country video
  • Did Dixie fuck Montgomery and Gentry to get them so much exposure?
  • Emo Sting kid is back and he brought friends…I want to taintkick all of them
  • This better not end with Hogan winning the World Title….this better fucking not
  • Roode has said Hogan is jealous for like five week in a row now

Segment 4: Joseph Park segment, Match 2: Velvet Vs. Mickie Vs. Tara Vs. Hooters

  • “Don’t Mess With Tess” worst catchphrase ever
  • God such a short segment of the match…that sucks

Segment 5: Match cont., Bully Ray segment

  • Hey Gail, Velvet actually beat you for the championship once…just a hint
  • Gail is awful on commentary
  • 4 Way submission is a lot of fun
  • The Hooterbuster again?? Jesus.
  • Did Bully just use the word “fiduciary”? Nice

Segment 6: Hogan segment, Contract signing

  • Between the actual show and the Rent-A-Center commercials, this show has entirely too much Hogan
  • Even though this is live it still feels really scripted
  • I think I’d actually wear that Bully Ray shirt, that’s nice
  • Isn’t spitting in his face like….assault? Can’t he sue?
  • This is actually pretty awesome
  • That was a damn good Abyss promo
  • Devon beat both Robbies in a fucking handicap match???

Segment 7: Joey Ryan segment, Match 3: TV Title Match

  • Yay Joey Ryan is at least back on TV
  • Wow that was an awful match
  • Madison’s crush is Earl Hebner isn’t it?
  • “Your dick muscle is bigger than Devon” – Wrestlefan

Segment 8: Anderson/Hogan segment

  • Wow….a three way for people who have all lost to Roode multiple times…awesome

Segment 9: Match 4: 6 Man Tag match

  • Oh darn AJ isn’t coming out

Segment 10: Match cont.

  • Anyone with the name AJ is getting #ballsdeep
  • Wow Sting made Roode tap two weeks in a row…no way he’s gonna lose at Slammiversary

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 2 Laganas out of 5

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 5.5 Laganas out of 10