Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Re-crap, Storm segment
- Wow this Storm speech is really setting up the Roode heel turn way too easily
- Oh look…new music, for Storm…
- Why is Joe so winded just from walking to the ring?
- Joe hasn’t been a “dominant force” since TNA was “entertaining”
- Wow an unadvertised return to the ring for Jeff Hardy, WTG TNA
- Did Daniels just say “Bob Van Dam?”
Segment 2: Match 1: Daniels Vs. Bob Van Dam
- Jeez a match that could have been really good, but Daniels is playing cowardly heel
- So much for being “really dark” eh Sorg?
- I really hate these TNA angles that focus on a foreign object that you know can never really be used in a match, you know why Abdullah’s fork was so scary? HE FUCKING USED IT!
Segment 3: Gail, Maddy, and Karen segment, Match 2: Gail vs. Tara
- I can see why the WWE kept Gail Kim away from a microphone
- Seriously…why is Karen still in charge of the Knockouts? Isn’t Sting watching this?
- Why is Madison so okay with someone else getting a title shot?
- Gail wanted to be showcased as the main eventer….at 9:30….and her match gets a commercial break
Segment 4: Match 2 cont, Flair showing up
- Aaaaaaand Tara just basically got squashed
- Seriously why is Madison ok with not getting a shot?
- Oh yes if I need parenting advice in the wrestling world, I go to Ric Flair…
Segment 5: TV Championship match….yes you heard me right Eric Vs. Fake Ryder
- It’s sad that this start for this “feud” was a month ago…
- The teaming of Robbie and Rob will get confusing I promise you, they should have just made a fake name for Terry, like The Terruation or something
- Wow, I haven’t seen a crucifix win anything in wrestling….ever
- I really wish it was either Vinny or Pauly from Jersey Shore, Ronnie may kill someone is one of his roid rage episodes
Segment 6: Daniels segment,Bully segment, Bischoff segment
- Who the hell was Daniels talking to?
- I didn’t know Sting ate corn flakes
- Everyone in TNA needs to stop talking about history
- “Rehab is for quitters” Wow. Really? Fucking really?
- I hate this fucking angle, do you know there are actual wrestlers who aren’t getting paid because a referee and non-authority figure have to feud?
- If I was Matt Morgan I’d kick Garett’s fucking head off
- Why are the Bischoffs still even there if they have absolutely no power at all? Shouldn’t Sting be firing them?
- Two things: 1) Women conceive Eric, not men 2) Semen doesn’t make babies, sperm does #biologywithMadMike
- Garett should have said “Don’t call Grandma a bitch”
- Nice to see on a show where you are deciding a new number one contender, this is going to be the main event…DOING IT WRONG!!!!
Segment 7: Aretha Flairklin segment, Hardy segment, Jarrett segment
- Flair wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to him
- Flair’s promo got less and less coherent over time
- One of the scariest things about this Impact is remembering that Jeff Hardy is a father
- I like Jeff Hardy way more before Twitter….Matt too
- Seems like maybe someone who has a history of no-showing and being fucked up shouldn’t be rehired should they?
- Considering what they pay in TNA Bully Ray’s wallet may not be the best weapon
Segment 8: Match 4 cont Meth Vs Fatty (no, not that one), Roode segment
- I wanna throat punch everyone chanting for Hardy there
- Taz which one of these guys have changed their styles?
- Jeff’s beard is uneven, must be lack of depth perception….from the drugs
- LOL at the Xplosion logo in the bg
Segment 9: Match 5: Joe Vs. Roode
- God, Joe is fat.
- I’m not saying that to be mean, I just don’t think he’s stayed in the condiitoning he needs to be in because he isn’t getting pushed
- Oh look Roode has new music too…this couldn’t be leading to a breakup of Beer Money? Noooooooooooooo
- This clearly isn’t the main event….stop lying to us
- Man I drifted off during this match, Roode won…as if Joe had a chance
Segment 10: Seriously this is the main event
- I’d say these poor Impact zone fans for this, but let’s be honest Ollivander’s was probably close
- Nice to see TNA fans advocate child abuse
- Guess Bischoff doesn’t want grandkids
- Oh good the DVR shut off, saving me from the rest of the show