Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Garret arrives, Flair segment, Sting segment
- I’m so rooting for the heels to destroy Garret…that’s not good storytelling
- Gunner’s TNA tron logo is awful
- Why is Sting in blackface?
- Did EY just reference Moose??? The ugly chick from the Beautiful People years ago
- Shouldn’t Dixie Carter be concerned that the authoritarian in TNA is making man on woman matches and saying he’s insane?
Segment 2: Match 1: Gail and Maddy Vs. ODBEY
- Oh Gail….you should have gone back to eliminating yourself from battle royals
- Eric was just asking for a Bronco Buster from ODB, that’s love folks
- Labia count: 1
- ODB just rammed Maddy’s head into her crotch repeatedly…
- I haven’t seen Carly at Impact in a while, if she has given up on this product why should I keep watching?
- Double airplane spin was nice
- Labia count: 2
- Winner via rape: Eric Young
- Eric proposes to ODB and TNA decides that’s the perfect time to cut away…
Segment 3: EY proposing, Joseph Park segment, A Double segment
- She’s gonna say BAM! isn’t she?
- You know the only reason this angle works is because they are both over the top, and they look like their having fun
- Joseph Park…wow Abyss, well at least he’s able to have new teeth
- A Double and Shiima tonight? Works for me, and Aries really speaks too many truths
Segment 4: Match 2: Shiima Vs Aries, Joseph Park segment
- Second title match of the night…interesting choice
- Wow that Impact Zone is empty…TNA should never use that high camera angle again
- I really hope they give this time
- Wait…Victory Road is Sunday?? What the fuck do they have booked??
- Well…so much for that, nice to see Shiima get the win though
- This really just shows how amazing Abyss is that this character is a lot of fun
Segment 5: Bully Ray segmen
- This is such a weird segment…
- I like crazy Sting as GM, regardless of how little sense it makes
- Bully is still one of the best things in TNA
Segment 6: Match 3: Bully vs. Bobby, Garret segment
- Wow…Bully is the face here, this is weird
- Bully Ray is the only wrestling character I’ve ever seen to carry his wallet to the ring
- I really hope Bully becomes champion some time this year
- Wow…another non-finish, too bad
- WWBD? What does that stand for? We Want Beer Drinkers?
- Ohhhh World Wide Beer Drinker….worldwide is one word
Segment 7: Joseph Park segment, Match 4: Jersey Bore vs. Red and Blue
- I’m really digging this character
- Oh God, this means Crimson is gonna be the heel isn’t he?
- The build for this break up of Crimson and Morgan has gone on way too long
- I’d much rather have Ronnie and Robbie win this match…they’re better characters
- They need to stop saying “undefeated streak”
Segment 8: AJ segment
- Wow, ten years…of mediocrity
- I really wish all three of these people would go away
- Oh great Anderson is back…again, for no reason
Segment 9: Garret and Jeff Vs. Angle and Gunner
- So did Jeff paint his eyelids so when he passes out due to drugs people will still think he’s awake?
- Wow this is a boring match for people who were saying they were going to take Garret out
Segment 10: Match cont.
- Wow, what a disappointing end to this Impact…I wanted Garret to die
Logic: 2.5 our of 5 Laganas
Wrestling: 3.5 out of 5 Laganas
Overall: 6 out of 10 Laganas