Mad Mike Reviews TNA: It Pays To Be Not Concussed

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap,  Storm in ring segment

• As champion, Storm should be drinking Miller High Life…just sayin
• Hey James I learned all those things too and I wasn’t raised in the South
• I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…this stage they use on the road makes TNA just look 10,000 times more professional
• I hate when people tell the crowd they are going to steal the show, I’d rather them just go out there and steal it
• Haha Ronnie is so much shorter than EY
• Seriously TNA, your next PPV is in 9 days, and I don’t think a single match has been announced yet

Segment 2: Match 1: Knockout Tag Titles (remember those?) Match Gail and Maddy Vs. Tara and Brookmacher, Bisch Jr. segment

• Seriously…why is Karen still in charge of the Knockouts?? This doesn’t make sense!!!
• Why are they wearing Texan flag tops in Georgia?
• I take back what I said, there’s one match booked for Turning Point
• That camera angle was really close for that butt shot
• Well that certainly was a match…
• I DON’T CARE ABOUT BISCHOFF JR.!!!!!

Segment 3: Garrett segment

• God I hate this
• Seriously, stop this bullshit
• He doesn’t wrestle
• His dad doesn’t wrestle
• This is why people hate you TNA
• I’d rather see Shark Boy taking a shit as a segment than this
• Seriosuly, shouldn’t Bischoff be fired too? Isn’t he some sort of cancer?
• Oh thank the gods Gunner showed up…as if this wasn’t bad enough
• Bischoff calling his son a “son of a bitch” ensures he is sleeping on the couch tonight

Segment 4: Sting/Joe segment, Daniels segment

• Hey Joe you fat fuck, you were given a shot at getting a world title shot last week, stop bitching
• Oh great Bischoff’s son is gonna wrestle…I don’t give a shit
• Um…this is TNA’s response to CM Punk? Really?
• Angry stoner is angry
• Daniels runs like a little girl
• THAT’S HOW THEY BOOK A MATCH???? “Catch ya at Turning Point” Really???

Segment 5: Match 2 (49 minutes in): A-Double vs. Cowboy McGenericson

• Kid Kash isn’t a legend at that announce desk let alone in this sport
• “Why would you jump out of a perfectly good wrestling ring unless it was on fire?” This was actually uttered…by a guy who regularly jumps out of the ring
• I like how half of Aries’ offense is moving out of the way of flippy moves
• Wow did they really just say “go home” right before the finish?
• Kash said he was gonna go get his knife…wow, just wow

Segment 6: Roode/Storm segments, Robbie, Rob, Ronnie, EY segment

• I’m sure this isn’t exactly how they envisioned their first title match together…
• There are too many R names in this angle
• Ronnie is wearing the former TNA Championship….this makes David Arquette look like Verne Gagne
• As a guy who recently stopped watching Impact live to watch the Jersey Shore, Jersey Shore is more entertaining
• I don’t think Robbie E knows what a hamster is
• Also The Situation didn’t punk Ronnie at all, he rammed his head into a wall to avoid Ronnie’s roid rage
• Eric Young just declared himself as The High Chancellor of Television, that’s amazing

Segment 7: Match 3: Anderson and Hardy Vs Bully and Jeff

• So this really is Team Wellness Violation isn’t it?
• I think the graphics department really fucked up during this match…
• Bully Ray just screamed at Jeff that he was a drug addict…best thing on the show
• Dixie Carter is showing way too much bare shoulder for a company President
• Aw man the stereo Swantons would have been awesome
• Did anyone remember Scott Steiner still existed?

Segment 8: Sting segment, Morgan segment

• Oh goodie…this idiot is going to wrestle, can the fans pick his opponent, you know like Alex Shelley or Shiima or you know anyone we’d rather see on screen
• See if I were booking TNA, Morgan and Crimson would become the new Skyscrapers…but no, they’re probably going to feud
• Morgan says that there is a dumb question that doesn’t dignify a response…then continues to answer it
• A dream match??? Who the fuck is having this dream???
• Remember six months ago when Crimson was Amazing Red’s little brother?

Segment 9: Match 4: Storm Vs Roode for the belt buckle

• What is the deal with this “off the chain” thing all over Roode’s entrance?
• Seriously TNA needs a smaller graphic for their live events…its distracting as fuck
• This has been kinda boring so far sadly

Segment 10: Title match cont.

• Their first match was better, but this one isn’t that bad
• Welp…the DVR cut off, again
• Just for you people I found the end of the match even though I had to listen to some jerkoff’s review of Impact while I saw the end
• Roode is the new champ after he used a beer bottle…yay
• It’s a shame it seems that Storm has a concussion now, because there isn’t going to be a rematch on Turning Point