Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: No Surrender Review, Flair/Sting promo, Jeff walking in
- Welp, looks like I didn’t miss much at the PPV
- The last time that Sting and Flair wrestled was 2001, the last time it was relevant was WAAAAY before that
- Sting really needs to keep a color scheme
- Is Sting just reciting the spots in the match so they both remember?
- Wow, this is such an awful promo
- Jeff is only late because Matt drove him there
Segment 2: Jeff interview, Match 1: Racist America Vs. Reverend, Pope, and Lesbians, Karen has an office
- Shouldn’t Jeff say exactly what happened at Victory Road? Isn’t that really the first step to recovery?
- I fucking hate MeX-Pac, seriously out of anyone in wrestling I think I hate him the most
- D-Von…..STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING KIDS TO THE IMPACT ZONE, THEY’RE GETTING SICK OF BUTTERBEER!
- Taz may or may not have a foot fetish….excuse me *vomit*
- Wow so much for all the weight D-Von lost, he looks awful
- I don’t understand this, the girls will angrily go after both guys, but they cower in the face of Tara and Tessmacher?
- P.S. I hate that they are using Brooke Tessmacher
- Why does Karen have an office?
- Traci Brooks can definitely handle a job, just ask Bischoff
Segment 3: Knockouts Segment, Fortune segment
- Madison Rayne is awesome yet again
- Nice to see that Velvet may actually get her title shot now
- I love Bobby Roode, but there is absolutely no way he is ever going to beat Kurt at Bound For Glory
- Is this the first time Kaz has been on TV in months?
- Wanna know how out of touch Kaz is? He’s calling Daniels “CD”
- This is a touching segment for Roode, but it still doesn’t make him any more credible or more of a main eventer, he’d need to beat everyone in Fortune
- TNA has like eight different names for their championship…that’s not a good sign
- I don’t even want to think why the Hogan/Bischoff stroke has rubbed off on Angle
Segment 4: Bischoff/Angle segment,Match 2: Angelina Vs. Velvet
- Shouldn’t this one on one match have happened like months ago? You know when Angelina was a zombie?
- No offense, but pigeons are such dirty foul birds, why can’t it be like “Let the doves loose?”
- A commercial already?? What??
Segment 5: Match 2 (cont),Jeff/AJ segment
- I already hate this episode for giving me less Velvet
- Angelina needs a sandwich
- All Knockouts should have to wear corsets
- The camera angles in these matches make them real uncomfortable to watch sometimes
- Wow Earl just let that belt shot happen didn’t he?
- The Beauty-T? Really?
- Wow….why can’t AJ be this passionate in actual storylines?
- I hate that Hardy is back in this company, but that was a damn good promo by AJ
Segment 6: Hogan/Flair segment, Crimson interview, Match 3: Joekozuna Vs. Morgan
- I didn’t even listen to the old men argue
- Nice to see Crimson actually reference the fact that they fought before, kudos
- Wow, so they flat out know that no one bought the ppv so they’re just doing this again?
- Christy Hemme should only be allowed to say “Samoa” once in Joe introduction
- And Joe wins a match for the first time since the Bush administration….yay
Segment 7: Kaz/Angle segment, D-Von/Jeff segment
- God Kaz is so boring
- TNA sometimes is like a huge “Remember When?” *head tilt* segment
- Jeff, you know D-Von’s prayers are strong, he used to be a man of the cloth
- Another segment with no wrestling…WRESTLING MATTERS.
Segment 8: Match 4: Kaz Vs. Roode
- At the very least these Fortune Vs. Roode matches should be great to watch
- BTW if some of these segments from me seem a little short from week to week, its because the wrestling was actually decent…I don’t expect this to happen that often though
- Ugh that damn emo kid in the Sting facepaint is back, I want to go to Florida and punch him in the throat
- Wow…a crippler crossface…not bad even though it looked like Roode used a Fujiwara armbar on Gunner at the PPV
Segment 9: Roode and Aries segments, Bully and Lynn segment, WCW Nitro Main Event: Sting vs. Flair
- I like Roode a whole lot…I want him to win, I just don’t see it
- Aries better be able to improve the X-Division
- When exactly did Jerry Lynn get signed?
- JB said this is the Main Event twice…stop that
- My attention in this match will now be focused on the red head in the front row
- Holy god I think Flair is wrestling in monogrammed Depends
- Botch count: 1
- Woo count: 2
- Commercial time…hope the red head (she looks like a Carly, I’m gonna call her Carly) doesn’t get bored and fall asleep
Segment 10: Old Men Fighting Part II
- Oh thank God (not Ric, but God God), she’s still there
- Woo count: 3
- Aww the Impact Zone is too loud for Carly, in its defense, its the first time there’s been actual cheering there
- I’m only counting Woo’s by Flair and Sting, for the record
- Nice to see that Jeremy Borash announced that Sting’s career is on the line in this match (Psst…he totally didn’t)
- Woo count: 4
- God Flair just looks like a tired old man
- Botch count: 1.5 (that superplex was scary)
- Hey look it’s Scott Steiner! This is the last episode of Nitro!
- Wow, Immortal is totally allowed to run in
- Woo count: 5
- Botch: 2.5 (Flair can’t even flop right)
- You know you should stop when Earl Hebner is more athletic than you in a match
- Wow Sting won, shock of shocks
- God this was awful