Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Hogan segment
- The group of TNA faces looks like the fucking WCW/ECW Alliance
- TNA has way too many wrestlers to have them all around the ring
- Don’t you think there’d be some sort of contingency in case Hogan turns again, Dixie can just fire him?
- “I met with Creative” wow.
- “Lots of new segments” wow.
- Hogan can’t figure out his own product….that’s tremendous, maybe he should listen to the crowd to see who should face Gail
- Also I don’t think Hogan remembered Gail’s last name
- The silence in that arena is deafening at times
- Did anyone really want Anderson back?
- So is Anderson a face or a heel? Last week he wrestled Jeff, this week its Roode…
- Jeff is asleep during the meeting
Segment 2: Hardy Vs. Angle
- The Olympic tights Angle has are pretty cool
- You guys, I’m pretty sure Carly has given up on Impact Wrestling…I see her mediocre looking friend, but not her…such a shame
- Oh man bachelor party tonight…
Segment 3: Match cont., Flair segment, Calfzilla segment
- Kurt sold the Twist of Fate like a Stunner…weird
- Wow, Jeff is no-selling the fuck out of that ankle lock
- Ah….so countout leads to a cage
- Yes, Calfzilla Vs. Aries is going to be a thing! I love it!
- I think this is unofficailly the death of Lethal Lockdown, unless the AJ/Daniels/Kaz bullshit gets turned into that
Segment 4: Calfzilla segment, Joseph Park segment
- I really hope TNA World Champion Calfzilla is a thing this year, please let it be a thing, I’ve watched way too much of this shit to not get that payoff
- “I have eaten chicken wings bigger than you.” – Calfzilla
- I love how the one and only time TNA listened to their audience it was to, at least for now, turn Aries face
- Okay, I’m officially tired of this until it moves forward, this Joe Park better not be Abyss with memory loss
Segment 5: AJ/Storm segment, Match 2: Knockouts 6-Way
- AJ Vs. Storm, sounds boring to me
- Winter’s theme song is still awesome
- Can’t they change Angelina’s TNAtron??
- Maddy’s song is great too
- Wow…a whole segment giving everyone their entrances? Really?
Segment 6: Match cont., Anderson segment
- Thank God it looks like at least Winter wants to stick to her gimmick
- Taz made the exact same “Mom, I made the big screen” joke last week…odds he does it next week? 1000:1
- Never understood why you would want to take yourself out of a match like this, it means you can’t win
- Madison and Aries as an on-air couple would be the greatest thing ever in TNA
- Velvet almost just did the “I’m sorry, I love you”
- Anderson needs a new gimmick, seriously
Segment 7: EY’s Bachelor Party, Match 3: Storm Vs. AJ; Sting/Hogan segment
- Manny Fernandez reference, amazing
- That was an extremely disappointing segment
- Speaking of disappointing, here’s James Storm
- It’s not that this match is bad, it’s not…AJ rarely has a bad match, it just doesn’t mean anything
- AJ just being used as fodder is really unfortunate
- I’d feel really bad if I got showered with beer at Impact and then tried to go on some rides
- “Sorry about your damn luck” isn’t really the end of a promo, at least not in the way he uses it a lot of the time
- Hogan sending Sting home, oh Jesus
- This is the second time old men have used “911” when not talking about an actual emergency, shouldn’t they just have MedicAlert bracelets?
Segment 8: Storm partying with rednecks, Match 4: MCMG vs. Mexijobbers, Flair/Bischoff segment
- Well that was pointless
- So…countdown until the Guns get a tag title shot? I say it’ll happen by the end of this show
- Countdown until TNA breaks up the Guns…I’ll say 3 months
- Maybe less than that, they already have different tights
- Remember when Hernandez was good?
- Sabin still looks like he has a bit of ring rust on him, but nice to see them back
- Wow, they actually said he’s a two time Hall of Famer
Segment 9: Hogan/Bischoff bullshit
- Eric forgot what year it was, I thought it was just me that thought this was 1998
- Let’s be honest, the Impact Zone isn’t that big of a room
- Oh fuck…this is the Lethal Lockdown match, oh fuck no
- Okay so Eric, Gunner, Flair, Daniels, and Kaz Vs. Garretttt, AJ, Anderson, Devon, and RVD??
- So wait, Hogan has the power to change people’s last names?
Segment 10: Roode/Storm segment, Match 5: Anderson Vs. Roode
- Storm’s cousin Devon just made the Taz word of the week: pintacle
- He meant pinnacle…he’s a dumb redneck
- TNA is also dumb for not editing that
- Just looked at the Lockdown website, apparently MCMG Vs. Joe/Magnus and Devon Vs. Robbie E are both matches…
- Who the hell does that leave for either person on team Bischoff?
- Eric, Flair, Daniels, and Kaz Vs. Garrett, Hogan, AJ, and Anderson??
- Wow, TNA only has house shows booked until the start of May…no wonder they don’t sell out
- Hey Taz, didn’t ODB and EY say last week they were going to have their wedding at Lockdown, not next week?
- Wow a Best-of-Three series with team that we don’t even know yet…what a build
- WHY WAS A CHILD HOLDING A BEER??
- Why does this feel like a go-home show, when next week’s won’t?
TNH8 Scale
Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 4.5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 9 Laganas out of 10
This was actually a pretty decent show, I appreciate a logical GM on this show finally, and face Hogan provides that…hopefully for a while.