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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Turning the Channel Point

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment

  • There are a couple of women in this crowd that are dressed up way too nicely
  • Roode really was the best part of Fortune mostly
  • A Spike TV hat? Really?
  • TNA really needs to stop with these pull-apart brawls, this is like the 30th in the past month or so
  • Yet another commercial during a promo

Segment 2: Talking continued

  • TNA should never have a commercial break cut in between a talking segment
  • EVER.
  • Sting, the guy who pretended to be insane for the past couple of months, is “the voice of reason in TNA” this is exactly what’s wrong with the company
  • Iron Man match with Roode and AJ should be good…its a shame the crowd won’t care
  • “He’s beating on AJ on top of Dixie” out of context Taz quote

Segment 3: Match 1: Devon vs Not Zack Ryder, Red Vs. Blue segment

  • Seriously does TNA think giving this idiot a championship is piggybacking off of the Zack Ryder movement?
  • TNA, we like Eric Young…Eric Young IS YOUR FUCKING VERSION OF ZACK RYDER!!!!
  • TNA just needs to stop doing any angle that involves fathers and sons, any angle: Jarretts, Angles, Bischoffs, Devons, all of this shit needs to stop
  • Hey Sting, does TNA have more than one tag team? Jesse Neal left…so you have no choice but to make team Red Vs. Blue

Segment 4: Flair/Bisch segment, Match 2: Old Man and A Double vs. Footballhead and Kendrick

  • Um if Bischoff doesn’t sign his contract, how is he still employed?
  • Sting has “been a little back and forth on it all night” about Garrett…..there was one commercial break between Garrett asking for it
  • Aries not tagging because Kash said “he got it” is awesome

Segment 5: Match 3: 10 Knockouts Gauntlet, Madden 12 promo

  • Okay, I’m going to count how many labia I see in this match because of the cameramen, this should be fun
  • Seriously, TNA treats their women way worse than WWE does, they may get to wrestle more, but they are all treated like sluts
  • In WWE, its only the Bellas that get that treatment
  • Velvet making the P-U gesture after a stinkface is pretty hilarious
  • Using the trunks on Velvet is a very nice thing to have in a match, notsomuch when Karen was implying Madison was supposed to take Velvet out…

Segment 6: Gauntlet continues

  • Oh my God…and actual ad for Hooters restaurant during the middle of this match, really Spike and TNA? REALLY??
  • I think Mickie probably rethought her top attire about 5 or 6 times during this match
  • Jesus Tenay, you said we hardly ever see Tara Vs. Mickie James…wow
  • These guys don’t know who is in the Gauntlet match despite a graphic showing all the participants earlier…wow
  • Now ODB was reinstated by Karen Jarrett??? Um no, she was rehired by Eric fucking Bischoff you idiots
  • So Karen told Madison that she knew who to take out first, knowing that Madison was the last entrant in the match….wow
  • Almost all of these matches last less than 20 seconds, that’s fucking pathetic
  • Final count 3 labias, no babies…so that’s a plus

Segment 7: Garrett segment, Hardy segment

  • Someone get this fucker off my TV….that applies to both these guys
  • These fans are only supporting Hardy because he gives away parts of his stash before each show
  • Jeff, stay the fuck away from any championship
  • God Karen really really wants to be Vickie, and is SO NOT
  • So Jeff Jarrett wears the pants, but Karen has the biggest balls? That’s an odd family dynamic
  • Jeff isn’t looking away from Karen to sell the angle, he’s just really fucking high
  • So drugs make people impotent….good to know
  • Jeff, that wasn’t what she was saying at all, listening comprehension isn’t your strong suit is it?
  • Sarita and Rosita sure changed quick from that match
  • Did Rosita just threaten to cut someone??

Segment 8: Flair/Bisch segment, Match 5: Mexican America Vs. Blue Vs Red

  • “Don’t worry about his age” really good statement to say in the midst of the Penn State scandal
  • I feel really bad for anyone caught behind that giant Mexican flag
  • I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad that Morgan and Crimson teamed after I wanted them to
  • Seriously the tag division is thin if this is already a title match
  • Add another labia count for this match
  • Morgan looks like a giant standing on the apron in that tiny ring
  • Ok so these guys won the belts, now who do they feud with? Nobody…

Segment 9: Match: 6: Immortal’s Gunner Vs. His Own Soooooon

  • God this fucking tool has the worst music and TNAtron ever
  • Gunner is Immortal’s Mideon
  • Isn’t it funny that as soon as Hogan turns face, and isn’t the main focus of the show, he disappears?
  • Wow, Garrett won again…who the fuck cares?

Segment 10: Storm segment

  • I really hate Kaz
  • Ok, the DVR cut off again, but Kurt was the one that attacked Storm…because sure why not?

TNHate Scale for this week:

Logic: 1 Russo out of 5

Wrestling: 3.5 Russos out of 5

Overall: 4.5 Russos out of 10