Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment
- There are a couple of women in this crowd that are dressed up way too nicely
- Roode really was the best part of Fortune mostly
- A Spike TV hat? Really?
- TNA really needs to stop with these pull-apart brawls, this is like the 30th in the past month or so
- Yet another commercial during a promo
Segment 2: Talking continued
- TNA should never have a commercial break cut in between a talking segment
- Sting, the guy who pretended to be insane for the past couple of months, is “the voice of reason in TNA” this is exactly what’s wrong with the company
- Iron Man match with Roode and AJ should be good…its a shame the crowd won’t care
- “He’s beating on AJ on top of Dixie” out of context Taz quote
Segment 3: Match 1: Devon vs Not Zack Ryder, Red Vs. Blue segment
- Seriously does TNA think giving this idiot a championship is piggybacking off of the Zack Ryder movement?
- TNA, we like Eric Young…Eric Young IS YOUR FUCKING VERSION OF ZACK RYDER!!!!
- DEVON STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN TO THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION IF YOU WOULD JUST FUCKING STOP
- TNA just needs to stop doing any angle that involves fathers and sons, any angle: Jarretts, Angles, Bischoffs, Devons, all of this shit needs to stop
- Hey Sting, does TNA have more than one tag team? Jesse Neal left…so you have no choice but to make team Red Vs. Blue
Segment 4: Flair/Bisch segment, Match 2: Old Man and A Double vs. Footballhead and Kendrick
- Um if Bischoff doesn’t sign his contract, how is he still employed?
- Sting has “been a little back and forth on it all night” about Garrett…..there was one commercial break between Garrett asking for it
- Aries not tagging because Kash said “he got it” is awesome
Segment 5: Match 3: 10 Knockouts Gauntlet, Madden 12 promo
- Okay, I’m going to count how many labia I see in this match because of the cameramen, this should be fun
- Seriously, TNA treats their women way worse than WWE does, they may get to wrestle more, but they are all treated like sluts
- In WWE, its only the Bellas that get that treatment
- Velvet making the P-U gesture after a stinkface is pretty hilarious
- Using the trunks on Velvet is a very nice thing to have in a match, notsomuch when Karen was implying Madison was supposed to take Velvet out…
Segment 6: Gauntlet continues
- Oh my God…and actual ad for Hooters restaurant during the middle of this match, really Spike and TNA? REALLY??
- I think Mickie probably rethought her top attire about 5 or 6 times during this match
- Jesus Tenay, you said we hardly ever see Tara Vs. Mickie James…wow
- These guys don’t know who is in the Gauntlet match despite a graphic showing all the participants earlier…wow
- Now ODB was reinstated by Karen Jarrett??? Um no, she was rehired by Eric fucking Bischoff you idiots
- So Karen told Madison that she knew who to take out first, knowing that Madison was the last entrant in the match….wow
- Almost all of these matches last less than 20 seconds, that’s fucking pathetic
- Final count 3 labias, no babies…so that’s a plus
Segment 7: Garrett segment, Hardy segment
- Someone get this fucker off my TV….that applies to both these guys
- These fans are only supporting Hardy because he gives away parts of his stash before each show
- Jeff, stay the fuck away from any championship
- God Karen really really wants to be Vickie, and is SO NOT
- So Jeff Jarrett wears the pants, but Karen has the biggest balls? That’s an odd family dynamic
- Jeff isn’t looking away from Karen to sell the angle, he’s just really fucking high
- So drugs make people impotent….good to know
- Jeff, that wasn’t what she was saying at all, listening comprehension isn’t your strong suit is it?
- Sarita and Rosita sure changed quick from that match
- Did Rosita just threaten to cut someone??
Segment 8: Flair/Bisch segment, Match 5: Mexican America Vs. Blue Vs Red
- “Don’t worry about his age” really good statement to say in the midst of the Penn State scandal
- I feel really bad for anyone caught behind that giant Mexican flag
- I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad that Morgan and Crimson teamed after I wanted them to
- Seriously the tag division is thin if this is already a title match
- Add another labia count for this match
- Morgan looks like a giant standing on the apron in that tiny ring
- Ok so these guys won the belts, now who do they feud with? Nobody…
Segment 9: Match: 6: Immortal’s Gunner Vs. His Own Soooooon
- God this fucking tool has the worst music and TNAtron ever
- Gunner is Immortal’s Mideon
- Isn’t it funny that as soon as Hogan turns face, and isn’t the main focus of the show, he disappears?
- Wow, Garrett won again…who the fuck cares?
Segment 10: Storm segment
- I really hate Kaz
- Ok, the DVR cut off again, but Kurt was the one that attacked Storm…because sure why not?
TNHate Scale for this week:
Logic: 1 Russo out of 5
Wrestling: 3.5 Russos out of 5
Overall: 4.5 Russos out of 10