Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Dixie segment
- Wow…TNA is literally giving the finish of their PPV away for free on TV, guess they know how few people watched it
- Roode looks like Jimmy Garvin with his hair all crazy like that
- Man, Dixie cannot act at all
- I wonder if Dixie contacted @DavidOtunga
- You guys, this is another set of TV tapings without Carly in the front row…I’m worried about her, if she actually developed taste and stopped watching this, I may not have a shot
- Really? A commercial break during an interview segment?? I thought we were done with this brand of shit.
Segment 2: Dixie segment…still, Bully segment, Match 1: Fatal Four Way X-Division match
- So Sting is taking a break…oh boy.
- Hey Sting, is this someone who can take TNA to the top, the same person that was supposed to do that almost 3 years ago?
- Emo Sting kid has now become Emo Steve Borden kid, and I still want to punch him
- You know who I’d love to see as GM of Impact if not just for one month? Eric Young. How fucking great would that be?
- Whoa Fatal Four way X Divison match tonight? Yes plz.
- Bully is awesome
- Wow, Shiima got an entrance! I apporve.
Segment 3: Match 1 cont., Mexican America segment
- This match better not have already started after commercial
- This is going to be awesome.
- You know where’d be a great way to go with the X-Division? Rob Van Dam.
- RVD Vs. Aries in a cage? I’d buy that for a dollar
- God damn do I love a good Tower of Doom spot
- Oh God dammit. I mean I love Bully, but this is pointless…
- If you told me that Devon would have a singles title before Bully Ray did, I’d have said you had some of Jeff’s meth…
- Oh no…MeX-Pac is back, and they’re plugging some bullshit show
- Wow…that was awful
Segment 4: Match 2: Knockouts Tag Title match
- I honestly still didn’t know that anyone in Mexican America besides Sarita were still employed
- Rosita looks like a Jersey Shore version of Trish
- So is every match of theirs going to be a glorified handicap match?
- April 12th is the wedding…I may host a Google hangout for this
Segment 5: Crimson segment
- Nobody wants to see Crimson
- TNA needs to stop showing Direct Auto Insurance
- Wow what a waste of a segment
Segment 6: Chris Park segment, Roode/Storm build segment, Storm segment, Angle segment
- In a cage, where ropes don’t matter…wow
- You know the last guy to see Abyss was Bully Ray, you’d think this Chris Park guy would start there
- He could also talk to TNA offices to see where they’ve been sending the checks
- Wow I miss Team Canada
- Wow they just showed a few people who have come and gone like Truth and Booker
- BTW the back of Storm’s new shirt says “99 Problems but a beer ain’t one”
- Yes, really.
- I really wonder who is going to be in Lethal Lockdown this year, if they’re even going to have it
- Storm, football is longer than 18 weeks, 18 weeks is just the regular season, there’s also preseason and playoffs
- Hey Storm if it was so wrong for Roode to touch Dixie, why didn’t you save her at the PPV?
- Is that Palmer Cannon?
- English Palmer Cannon kinda sucks
- So Roode isn’t going to be on Impact until Lockdown? That may be a welcome break
- Garrett did not win, he just survived
- Wait a minute, Garrrettt lasted five minutes, so Kurt’s punishment is to make him last a shorter time?
Segment 7: Match 3: Three Minute Challenge
- At least this is two minutes less of Garetttt
- Garrettt has already lasted a minute just by talking…
- You know what’s amazing, Garretttt is killing time on the clock an dbeing called smart, Roode does the same thing and is called a coward
- The eternal question of how long does it take for a run-in in TNA has been answered: under 3 minutes
- I really wish they had a version of 3 Minute Warning in TNA
Segment 8: MMG promo, Match 4: TNA Tag Title Match
- Oh thank Christ the Machine Guns are coming back
- I think Mexican America was hired back to literally bide time until Sabin and Shelley come back
- Wow, Repo Man shout out from Taz
- Can someone please destroy MeX-Pac please?
- If Joe and Magnus win this week, they have beaten the entire tag division
- Ugh no one knows what Repo Wars is
Segment 9: Repo Wars bullshit, Match 5: Handicap match
- “No money, no honey” Sarita and Rosita are now honorary Bella twins
- Oh no…this Daniels/AJ thing is gonna be the Lethal Lockdown team captains isn’t it?
- Team Bully with Kaz and Daniels, and maybe like Aries Vs. Team Stinger, AJ, Anderson, and RVD…oh God…
- Actually, on paper that’s not bad…which is probably why it won’t happen
- Wow, Daniels and Kaz look like crap
Segment 10: Sting/Dixie/Hogan bullcrap
- Did Dixie just get music from the beginning of the show until now, or did they just forget earlier?
- You know the easiest way to do this: draw up a contract where Dixie can strip Hogan of his powers as GM at ANY time…I bet even @DavidOtunga could draw those papers up
- Wow going off the air with no decision…way to go
Logic: 3 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 6.5 Laganas out of 10