Home » Blog_entries » Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Abyss is Missing….Again
tna impact wrestling

Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Abyss is Missing….Again

Howdy Mayhemmers, it’s time once again for a TNA review and to see if they can capitalize on the pleasant surprise of Abyss returning!

Segment 1: Recrap, Hogan segment, Storm segment

  • Abyss coming back is ultimately a good thing I think, but he needs to be pushed right away, and he probably won’t be
  • Yes Hogan, let’s start with talking about AJ….because THAT was the big story last week…idiot
  • Oh goodie….a contract signi..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, sorry did I fall asleep? I hate contract signings
  • The people in Tupulo must be wondering where he went, since he was just out there 15 minutes ago
  • I love Joseph Park
  • I wonder if the Abyss vest is under that button down shirt
  • Um…didn’t D’Lo get fired by TNA?
  • God I hate Walmart Stone Cold

Segment 2: Match 1: Roode Vs. Churro

  • God I hate you Churro
  • Jeez James Storm is the stupidest person on Impact
  • James, you idiot, you superkicked both teams and refused to count pinfalls when they were fighting for a number one contendership
  • You screwed both teams over, both teams are backstabbing heels, of course they all beat you up,,,because you were a dick

Segment 3: Angle segment

  • Kurt, you really shouldn’t point out that you have wrestled AJ a lot of times
  • Why do all the Aces and Eights shirts say “Support” on the bottom of them?
  • So next week is when AJ attacks Anderson right?

Segment 4: Match 2: Jay Bradley Vs. Christian York

  • It’s kinda upsetting that the only two of the four Gut Check people in this thing I wanted to see wrestle each other first
  • Oh good, Boomstick moves on, I like him better

Segment 5: Clubhouse segment, Match 3: Gail Vs. Velvet

  • I enjoy Anderson being kinda like the general of the Aces, even though that should probably be a sergeant thing to do
  • I don’t like these really short segments they do often

Segment 6: Bully segment, match cont, X-Division segment

  • Ummm….weird placing of this no?
  • So the Knockouts match at Slammiversary isn’t even for the belt? Yay.
  • They’ve been doing a good job selling Gail’s new turn here though
  • I don’t want to know where Taz though that horseshoe was….or do I?
  • These guys still need a storyline, not just “we’re gonna wrestle!”

Segment 7: Suicide segment, Match 4: Sabin Vs. King Vs. Petey, Team Appletini segment

  • I don’t give a shit about Suicide
  • Hey Sabin….Petey….if you two are so angry about Kenny picking up the scraps, then why not double team him when he leaves the ring?
  • If a Petey match happens without a Canadian Destroyer, did it really happen?
  • Christopher Daniels, thank you for making sense

Segment 8: Aces segment, Match 5: Hernandez Vs. Daniels

  • How did D’Lo “bury” Wes and Garreccct?
  • I love when Taz actually talks strategy
  • Why would TNA go back to the 9PM time slot on a pre-recorded show?
  • Storm looks like a drunk uncle who is about to cornhole a nephew
  • Oh Jeez…he’s not bringing back Chris Harris is he?

Segment 9: Match 6: D’Lo Vs. Park

  • Folks. This is the main event. D’lo. Fucking. Brown.
  • The Park/Abyss thing has to come to a head soon right?
  • Park gets beat up by Devon and then Hogan books Abyss to get the shot at Slammiversary right?

Segment 10: Slammiversary rundown, Contract signing

  • Ultimate X? When was that announced besides now?
  • God, they couldn’t even get a table?
  • So, while I appreciate the “negotiation” it sounds like this will turn into “overbooking”
  • Um….Bully….you wrestled him last week
  • Why would you ask for a No Holds Barred match with a guy who has a whole crew that loves to interfere in matches
  • That is the best stipulation ever! Unless Sting wins.

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 3 out of 5 Laganas….they need to figure out what they are doing with AJ, and James Storm needs not to be an idiot

Wrestling: 3 out of 5 Laganas….very average show and short matches

Overall: 6 out of 10 Laganas