Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Cheaters Always Prosper (Approved By Hotwheelz)

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Match 1: Lumberjack match Roode Vs. Sting

• EY is wearing a lumberjack shirt, love him
• Why are there only 5 heels and like 30 faces as lumberjacks?

Segment 2: Match cont.

• With all the people on hard camera being forced to stand its a bit harder to distinguish lumberjacks
• Wow, what a way to make your champion look like a jobber
• Oh and here comes Hogan to make it a title match at Slammiversary
• Those lumberjacks sure cleared out of there quickly

Segment 3: Madison segment, Bully segment

• Madison everything about you is put together really well
• This is almost the same segment as last week so far
• I love when people talk to the “guys in the truck”
• If he’s a real attorney why doesn’t he just sue Bully
• Also isn’t their father James Mitchell? Where’s he at?
• Do these storywriters remember that Abyss already came back????
• How can a non-contracted lawyer be booked at Slammiversary?

Segment 4: Match 2: Sabin vs Aries, Taz segment

• Nice to see they remembered this title exists
• Oh my God, THAT’S how an Aries/Joe feud is gonna start? Really??
• That slingshotting suplex was amazing
• Nice reversal of the Cradle Shock
• I wish this match went as long as the Sting/Roode one did
• HAHAHAHA they kicked Flair off of GutCheck
• Taz is going to be the Austin of GutCheck now right?

Segment 5: TNA Discussions

• God I hate this GutCheck segment
• “I admire his mustache”
• Brother Fucking Love and Doctor Tom Pritchard thinks his gimmick is stupid? Jesus
• He’s being entertaining….and apparently this is a bad thing
• This whole segment is just one big contradiction
• This is also probably why I can’t watch reality TV

Segment 6: Who’s fighting Devon segment?, Dixie/Brooke segment, Kaz/Daniels segment

• Can someone please slap Jeff in the face when he has his eyes closed?
• Wow, Floridiots touching the camera screen
• Hey Dixie, did you suck any dick on your way to the ring?
• Oh God this is awful
• Dixie looks hotter than Brooke FYI
• TNA Hall of Fame segment? Who are they inducting Ron Killings?
• Brooke does not look good in HD
• “Filling big yellow boots” doesn’t really apply if those yellow boots haven’t left
• Thank God Kaz and Daniels mentioned something

Segment 7: Match 3: Devon Vs. Jeff, James Storm bullshit

• Jeff doesn’t even look excited for a title shot…have the drugs numbed him that much?
• Wow…the crowd is dead for this, D E D…dead
• Second week in a row, the TV Title match has been interrupted, horrible
• I don’t care about James Storm’s ranch…at all

Segment 8: Gut Check bullshit

• Joey Ryan is rubbing his chest hair, that’s awesome
• Wow, so it seems that only heels get contracts that’s cool
• Taz stop trying to be Austin, you’re not

Segment 9: Match 4: AJ Vs. Daniels

• This is a good match…but it means nothing
• I can’t believe Angle is ok with teaming with a guy who is cheating on his wife with Dixie Carter

Segment 10: Match cont

• Wow, AJ didn’t even win with a finisher
• Oh Lord, I hate that Angle got dragged into this
• THEY CAN’T EVEN USE ZIP TIES PROPERLY!!
• Dixie almost said fuck on Live TV…awesome
• Wow that phone call was just awful

TNH8 Scale:

Logic: 1 Lagana out of 5

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 4.5 Laganas out of 10