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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Hail Lagana!

Greetings Mayhemmers,
As promised, if TNA turned themselves back around, I’d be back doing this column. And holy crap have they turned it around…granted it took a lot of set up, and a month in England without Jeff Hardy, but this ship seems to have been righted. Not to say there still aren’t some incredibly stupid things, but what show doesn’t have that. So here we go!
Segment 1: Recap, Match 1: Chavo and Hernandez Vs. Roode and Aries; Aces segment; Sting

  • The highlights of the Lockdown main event were really good, as was the match.
  • Normally Hulk and Brooke are the worst actors ever, but this segment was done quite well, and is the main reason I’m back here reviewing this show
  • Kenely is still pretty awful though
  • I feel TNA needs to have a meeting and decide if its “Aces and Eights” or “THE Aces and Eights” it’s nitpicky, but there should be uniformity
  • I feel bad for all the Aces dudes who have to wrestle in jeans…that can’t be comfortable
  • D’Lo needs a bigger shirt….or a chest protector
  • Gallows went a little heavy on the fake tanner, seriously he’s darker than D’Lo
  • The Taz/Bully hug is so great
  • As I’ve said for the past year or so, Bully Ray is the best thing TNA has going
  • The crowd is hot already, the show feel completely different now
  • It is refreshing to see a heel group like this in TNA that DOESN’T have management support, I can’t think of another one like it
  • Sting needs to stop these rambling promos, unless he and his shirt are both busted wide open

Segment 2: Real Match 1: Gail and Tara Vs. Mickie and Velvet

  • Nice progression for the Gail/Taryn storyline thanks to the box interview
  • Awesome hometown reaction for Tara, nice Chicago gear as well
  • I swear every time Mickie comes back, I think her tits got bigger
  • Velvet, sweetie, you need to wear non granny panties for the pigeons gimmick to work
  • Taryn needs to stop ALWAYS MOVING DURING THE MATCH
  • Vel Vel, honey….please remember which corner is yours
  • I wonder if Mickie has a receding hairline, hence the bandana

Segment 3: Match cont, Clubhouse segment

  • Not to be all Eamon Paton about this, but Taryn really is an awful referee
  • By the way, the person who brought the Ivelisse sign is my new favorite
  • Taryn needs to learn how disqualifications work
  • The only slight issue with Bully being in charge all along, why would he have sabotaged himself during the BFG Series
  • Bully’s call to Brooke is the funniest thing ever

Segment 4: Match 2: Robbie E Vs. Rob Terry

  • “Feed Me More” chants for Big Rob…interesting
  • That finisher needs a little work there Big Rob

Segment 5: Clubhouse segment, Hogan/Sting segment, Emo AJ recap

  • I love Aces picking out a random person from the roster book
  • It’s really scary that Hogan is exactly right
  • That being said, probably not the best idea to have your daughter marry someone she’s been seeing for a month or so
  • Pretty sure this is the first time Tenay has spoken all night
  • Hate to say it, this package is what John Cena’s “worst year” should have been like
  • I want to know how AJ stole the Bat-pod

Segment 6: Roode/Aries segment, AJ’s return/Legion of Boom, Match 3: Storm Vs. Daniels, Angle segment

  • Please, please, please, please tell me that Roode and Aries are calling themselves Dirty Heels
  • Oh man this is way better than AJ
  • Legion of Boom. This is perfection.
  • Kaz needed to make the mohawk though
  • These guys are perfect
  • Can James Storm go back to raping his horse or whatever?
  • Wow Daniels sold that Last Call like Rock selling a Stunner at Mania 17
  • I would kill to see a Boomsday Device right here
  • It’s the EMOtional AJ Styles!!!
  • AJ clotheslined his hoodie on. That was amazing.
  • Why wasn’t Kurt assaulted like that before he revealed D’Lo?

Segment 7: Joseph Park segment

  • I love him apologizing for getting his partners shitty seats
  • Poor Cubs fans
  • Pretty sure this is the year of the beard, isn’t it Blueprint?
  • “That being said” and “At the end of the day” both need to be stricken from TNA’s product completely
  • Why is there a guy wearing a velour puffy suit in the front row?
  • Park wiping his brow is hilarious
  • Wow Morgan you almost missed your cue…so horrible

Segment 8: Clubhouse segment, Brooke post-Lockdown reaction, Match 4: Aries Vs. Sting

  • That Brooke reaction wasn’t that bad actually, granted it was cut really well
  • “These guys need to wipe their feet.” – Taz
  • Taz, you may say a lot of stupid shit, but that one was gold sir
  • This is a really great crowd
  • I wonder if the hard camera side has seats….it doesn’t look like it
  • Hey TNA if you guys are going to do a guardrail spot, make sure it isn’t the side you leave open for Aces and Eights

Segment 9: Match cont

  • Nice to see So Cal Val’s legs make an appearance
  • Aries yelling “How do you do this crap?” as he purposefully botched the Scorpion Death Lock is awesome
  • Wow Sting with the gorilla press, haven’t seen that one in a while old timer!
  • Wow Sting let Aries kick out of the first Death Drop, nice
  • Wow Aces come out again, it would be kinda old if they didn’t have a good mouthpiece like Bully now

Segment 10: Aces segment

  • Thank God Hulk isn’t walking all the way to the ring, with those crutches it would take him 3 months
  • Wow it looks like Aces and Eights against Faces and Eights in there
  • Wow Aces pretty much dominated this fight…that’s probably not good
  • Kind of an awkward ending, but overall a really fun show

TNH8 Scale:

Wrestling: 4 Laganas out of 5

Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 8.5 Laganas out of 5