Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Open Fight Night Segment, Match 1: Devon vs. Bully
- So anyone can challenge anyone? Why isn’t everybody challenging Roode?
- “Beautiful Gail” so Hogan forgets her name
- “Greatest tag team in the world” Hogan forgets their names too
- “Samoan” Joe…YUP.
- Wow, the tag team champions? Really? TNA has two tag teams, and Joe and Magnus have beaten both of them…God I hate TNA
- Didn’t Magnus and Joe already beat ODBEY?
- Oh my God this intro is awful
- Devon was talking about the one person everyone hated, I thought he meant Garrettttt
- Devon Vs Bully is actually a cool way to start this off, knowing TNA it won’t have a clean finish though
Segment 2: Match cont., Aries segment, Flair segment
- This match may have been better if there was actually some heat, and Devon forgot about Bully for like a year
- Wow, a clean win for Devon? That’s shocking…it really is
- Aries should have a good match tonight hopefully
- TNA is already not bleeping Bischoff, God I hate you TNA
- Flair has been partying for 63 years, and hasn’t been sleeping since he was 20, so either Flair is 83 years old, or partied straight out of the womb
- I’m not sure which is right
- Isn’t the point of an “open” Fight Night is for the fighters to make the challenge and not get booked?
- What if all four of those tag team challenge the champs? It should be a five-way match
Segment 3: Angle segment, Borash segment
- That was a nice reaction from Angle when usually TNA doesn’t do things like that
- So wait a minute….any employee can call out any other employee? Fuck that I wanna see two dudes from catering beat the shit out each other
- Eric *BLEEP* there Borash
- Nice to see those idiots with facepaint in the front row, way to advertise you are at a theme park
- Ha! At least they blurred his name on the TNAtron
- Ooh hot new girl in the front row…this has promise
- “Kick it off” Eric, this show has been going on for over a half hour now you idiot
- Well this was entirely pointless, isn’t Bischoff like a black belt?
Segment 4: Anderson segment, Match 2: Mexican America Vs Angle, Gut Check segment
- Wow, we don’t really need to bring politics into this
- Ummm you guys it’s an open fight night, just fucking challenge the tag champs
- Oh good let’s squash Mexican America more
- If this is what Open Fight Night is going to be like every month, then it’s going to suck
- God I hate you MeX-Pac
- Alex Silva…wow can you look more generic?
- Al Snow, Senior Direction of Talent Relations is just because of Johnny Ace
Segment 5: Gut Check match: Silva Vs Robbie
- If they really want to make this interesting, the guys looking to get a contract should they win, they should take the contract of the guy they wrestle
- Especially since there are already too many people on the roster as it is
- If Al is the lead judge…who are the other judges, and why aren’t they ringside?
- The crowd is chanting Woo Woo Woo, awesome
- If you can’t beat Robbie, you shouldn’t be on the roster
- Silva didn’t do anything spectacular to garner any interest to be on the roster, so naturally he’ll probably get a contract
Segment 6: Dixie segment, Hogan segment, Hooters segment/match with “Beautiful Gail”
- Someone should challenge Dixie to a fight, she’d have to accept
- “Start the segment” wow…that’s awful
- Anderson and Jeff AREN’T A FUCKING TAG TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!
- They are already champions aren’t they??”
- One night in ODB” Wow.
- I’m refusing to use this chick’s name anymore and just going to start calling her Hooters
- Pair of ASSets? Do you have two asses?
- “Why not challenge the champion?” is the best quote of the night BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING
- I’d rather see Taz. Vs Earl Hebner
- Ok new hot girl hasn’t reacted once to a single match, I think the line for butterbeer was too long so she just snuck inside
- Ok look Hooters won, yawn
Segment 7: Kaz/Daniels segment, RVD segment, Gut Check segment
- Ugh, don’t talk about The Force Kaz
- I don’t care about number one contenders packages in TNA anymore, there’s no conclusion
- Who the fuck are these other judges?
- So Gut Check is a two week process? That’s horrible
- For an Open Fight Night there is a distinct lack of fighting tonight
Segment 8: Garretttttttt segment, Joseph Park segment, Match 5: Tag Title Match
- Um isn’t Eric not fired he just can’t use his last name?
- Ok I’m extremely bored with this now
- So Hogan’s idea of a great tag team match is eliminating the three actual tag teams?
- So if backstage is crazier than what’s in the ring, why aren’t we watching that?
- Don’t say “crash TV” Taz
Segment 9: Match cont.
- Seriously, when did Hardy and Anderson ever say they were a tag team?? Someone tell me this!!!
- God that was just awful and pointless
- Seriously, are Magnus and Joe faces or heels?
- Why are these guys feuding with AJ and attacking the tag champs?
Segment 10: Bleepoff Segment
- Nice to see on Open Fight Night, the main event is not a fight
- “Google me” wow Ric, welcome to 2001
- Pretty sure Dixie, Sting, and Jarrett have impacted TNA more than Bischoff
- Haha well played Taz for calling Bischoff out on not matching denims
- “This sucks” chant, very applicable
- This is incredibly hard to watch
- Well, that’s a shitty ending…literally
TNH8 Scale
Logic: 0 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 1.5 Lagans out of 5
Overall: 1.5 Laganas out of 5