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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Shaq-Fu?

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!


Segment 1: Recrap, Angle and AJ Segment, Match 1: Angle/AJ Vs. Chavo/Hernandez

  • Someone please challenge Shaq to a fight
  • I want to point out…I could have gone to this show, I was in Florida…and refused
  • Carly is in the Impact Zone! Fuck I should have gone!
  • TNA needs to stop showing long entrances or shorten people’s entrances
  • I’m excited for Impact that they are going to be live the rest of the year, it’s honestly a good thing for them
  • Chavo will never escape Eddie’s shadow

Segment 2: Match cont, Al Snow segment

  • Taz doesn’t know what puns are
  • Why do I have a feeling Team Appletini is gonna cause a no contest?
  • The worst angle ever would be for Chavo to blame Eddie for costing him matches, because he points up high every time he tries a frog splash
  • Well whatdayaknow? A no contest! Yawn.
  • Watch out it’s wifflebat Hogan!
  • Um…..you guys, wasn’t Hogan wearing red and yellow just like five minutes ago?
  • Did we really need to hear about Al’s haircut?
  • Ugh more Gut Check bullshit

Segment 3: Hogan segment, Gut Check bullshit

  • Why the hell does it take someone an hour to get through security?
  • There should be an age limit for Gut Check

Segment 4: Dixie segment, Gut Check match

  • Holy fucking bad audio sync!
  • I already wanna punch this kid in the dick
  • Wrestlefan looks older than this kid
  • I’m begging one of these Gut Check people to actually win a match for once
  • Hi Douglas Williams! Can you please go join William Regal or Drew McIntyre in WWE please?

Segment 5: Storm segment

  • Nice CM Punk shirt right in the hard camera view
  • Remember when Storm was good at the beginning of the year? Yeah…that’s done now
  • Remember when Bobby Roode wasn’t so stale and bland? Yeah…
  • Are they really wasting an entire segment on this?? Really?
  • I’d rather see Three Minute Warning than this

Segment 6: Match 3: Roode Vs Storm, Hogan segment

  • This is fucking awful
  • Storm is such a chickenshit, he waited til Roode’s arms were behind his back
  • That’s just fucking retarded, I’m pretty sure those hipster shoes aren’t gonna hurt anyone
  • You stay classy Impact zone
  • I love/hate when Taz tries to point out the idiocies of TNA
  • So this is just “use Open Fights Night to book the PPV” night? Awesome. Not.
  • Second no contest of the night….
  • How did Aces and Assholes get the cell number of Hogan? And why doesn’t he just have someone trace the number?

Segment 7: Aries segment, Tara segment, Match 3: Tara Vs. Christy

  • Jeez…this is just the Punk thing again, ugh
  • I wonder if Aries has actually seen where Jeff lives…..it’s a fucking trailer
  • “She’s a workin girl” wow…stay classy Orlando
  • Does anyone care about Tara? Is she just the last one left who can’t go back to WWE?
  • So wait…why didn’t Hogan threaten Christy to go fight?

Segment 8: Brooke segment, Hogan segment

  • Brooke doesn’t know big words like “repercussions” or “ramifications”
  • If Joseph Park was on his way into the arena, how did Aces and Assholes get to him?
  • Who is playing the stupid music under Aces and Asshole’s feed?
  • Wow…that was just bad

Segment 9: Jeff package, Aries segment, Match 4: Aries Vs. Bully

  • I don’t care about Jeff Hardy
  • I hope Aries doesn’t try to do as many drugs as Jeff does
  • Bully and Aries are trying to shine this turd of a show

Segment 10: Match cont

  • Unless they make it a three-way, the saddest thing is now it seems TNA has no plans for Bully for BFG
  • These Open Fight Nights used to have some of the best wrestling, this has definitely not been the case tonight
  • Nice to see Bully get a win, maybe this will go to a three-way after all

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 1 out of 5 Laganas

Wrestling: 1.5 Laganas out of 5

(Bully Vs. Aries: 3.5 our of 5 Laganas)

Overall (with inflation for one good match): 3.5 Laganas out of 10