Greetings Mayhemmers, sorry this review is coming so late…almost wasn’t going to do this week, but I heard this episode was so bad it needs to be scorned. We shall see.
Segment 1: Recrap, Hogan segment, Suicide promo
- What I would kill for a month without Hogan/Sting opening the show
- Did Hogan just spoil that Shark Boy is here???
- Thank God they aren’t ducking out of the only thing that makes this belt interesting
- Wow, Sting totally can’t speak…this is bad
- Oh Lord Brooke….just leave, please just leave
- Brooke you are half right, but there is a Hogan responsible for the whole company going up in smoke
- Brooke, you haven’t done shit for the Knockouts
- That isn’t the first time someone has told Hogan to get his hands off his daughter
- WHO THE FUCK WANTED TO IDIOT SUICIDE BACK?
Segment 2: Match 1: Ryan Vs. Petey Vs. Suicide, Sabin segment
- Poor Shiima…and fuck TNA for not paying for his surgery
- Also….they are selling an Aces and Eights vest, I guess anyone can get patched in now
- Didn’t they already announce weeks ago that Suicide was in the X-Division match?
- I think I’d rather just hear Kenny King and Taz on commentary all night
- James Storm is fucking drunk….there is no “trading in the X-Division title” thing anymore
Segment 3: Bully segment, Velvet segment, Aces and Eights segment, Match 2: Magnus Vs. Wes
- Brooke is the worst actress ever
- Oh wait, there’s Velvet…
- Mickie is basically saying “I’m going to destroy your knee…just saying”
- Sam Shaw? You mean the guy who was a natural heel now coming out in board shorts and smiling? Ugh.
- No one knows what this tournament is about…
- Wow….Jobbers and Eights running scared of Magnus, that’s awful
Segment 4: Match cont,
- Wait….a TNA exercise app? What the fresh hell is this??
- What the fuck kind of tattoo does Wes have on his lower back?
- Samoa Joe comes back in a god awful shirt and the crowd goes mild
Segment 5: Slammiversary promo, Clubhouse segment, Kurt Takes Manhattan, Match 3: Kurt vs. Anderson
- Wow, they must really be having troubles selling out Boston
- I swear to fuck, if Hogan is the second Hall of Fame inductee, I’m gonna stab everyone
- Bully doesn’t want to talk about his personal life….uh oh
- I should have gone to Grand Central and begged Kurt to go back up north and feud with Punk
- GOD DAMMIT IT CHRISTY YOU HAVE ONE FUCKING JOB
Segment 6: AJ Segment, Match cont.
- AJ just showed up on his Batpod
- This “rivalry” is the worst fucking thing ever
- When did we see Kurt actually mentor or train Wes and Garrrrrectk
- “Girl pants” is a thing that was used as an insult…so that happened
- Angle only has himself to blame for this loss, AJ was just watching the match
Segment 7: Gail segment, Tag Title package, Storm segment
- Taryn and Gail should be some sort of stipulation match, like a cage or something
- Hogan rewarded Storm for fucking up a number one contender’s match…this is everything wrong with TNA
- Oh God, why is Churro on commentary?
- Actually Jim Bob, most women hate a good tag team…
- Churro’s commentary consists of “Cliche, cliche, cliche, bring it.”
- Hmmm, the Dumps, the Lumps, and the Humps….trying to figure out which one is which
- Oh Kaz with the “offended” remark
- Triple H should take notes, business should always be three separate words
- Shark Boy is all the fucking wins.
- COW AND SHARK FOREVER.
- Churro, you do realize you lost the tag team titles once to each of Team Mega Heel and Team Appletini, that’s not exactly easy
- Gunner? Oh fuck no. Fuck, fuck no.
- They should at least be called Team ATF
Segment 8: Joseph segment, Slammiversary rundown, Match 4: Mickie Vs Velvet
- Sting….you can’t start doing the Cactus/Mankind thing until it’s actually revealed on TV you fucking idiot
- Gail Vs. Taryn is a Last Knockout Standing match? That’s fucking awesome
- That being said, they only have five matches booked so far…
- Yeah Mickie definitely has the “aggressive heel” look so far
Segment 9: Match cont, AJ segment, Clubhouse segment
- Jesus Velvet, that’s the worst selling ever
- So Cal Val looks so upset
- Nice to see Mickie get the reigns again, hope she can help bring the KO division back a bit
- Looks like someone’s Quicktime player froze a bit on that AJ promo
- Poor D’Lo
Segment 10: AJ segment
- Wow, peer pressure to drink…that’s kinda awful
- You know, for AJ being such an important member, his vest doesn’t have a nametag on it
- Okay, so if AJ really isn’t joining Aces and Eights….then he and Kurt have basically no reason to fight now right?
Wrestling: 3 Laganas out of 5, nothing memorable despite some decently long matches
Logic: 3.5 Laganas out of 5, Mickie winning makes sense, but they still have np direction with Abyss or AJ, and Gunner is the worst choice ever
Overall: 7.5 Laganas out of 10