Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment
- STOP OPENING IMPACT WITH ROBERT ROODE
- Generally people who have “the longest title reigns” should have lost it at least three times, look at Triple H and Cena
- The camera guy really looks for chicks with exposed cleavage don’t they?
- Okay, I just checked the numbers, and as accurate as Wikipedia can be, it seems Roode is right
- Unless of course you discount that Jeff Jarrett was champion in TNA for almost a whole year
- I have a suggestion! How about the X-Division Championship??? We haven’t seen it in three months
- So wait, since anyone can beat anyone….and all these people have challenged Roode should get to fight him.
- Jeff looks like a retarded Kermit
- I don’t see why Roode is so upset, none of these matches involve him
- Bully Ray should win this, but he won’t
Segment 2: Match 1: Bully Ray Vs. RVD
- Yay, a new redhead in the front! Not nearly as ghhot as Carly though
- I wish Hogan would automatically eliminate anyone Roode has already beaten in a single’s title match, that’d make this more interesting
- They really shouldn’t call GutCheck the same thing on the road and on Impact, it’s confusing
- If that big surprise is Brooke Hogan, that’s going to shit the bed louder than Homicide not getting out of the TERRORDOME
- A self 3D? Finally he’s using something that has been in video games since Wrestlemania 2000 on the N64
Segment 3: Bully segment, King Mo segment, Gail and Maddy segment
- It’ll be interesting to see how Abyss explains that he came back
- I really don’t care about King Mo
- So…this is just repeating the interview from that show after Impact? Wow.
- Maddy you already look great for me, you don’t have to fix your hair
Segment 4: Match 2: Cluster Battle Royal
- Oh wow, the UNBEATEN Crimson is in there, I hope he doesn’t lose
- Wow, Crimson already lost, yup he LOST
- Ok so Maddy’s real crush is someone in this match, it better not be Devon
- Oh no, please don’t tell me it’s Garrrrettttt
- You know, for a bouncer, Robbie T can’t really throw anyone out of anything
Segment 5: Battle Royal continued
- God out of all the people left in the ring, the only one I want to see win is Aries
- See this with AJ and Aries? Why can’t these guys be feuding for the championship?
- If TNA wants to copy something from WWE it should be the fact that WWE has two Indy darlings at the top of the game
- Give Aries the belt and have him feud with AJ or Joe or Daniels
- Ordinarily I’d be okay with AJ winning, but because of this Daniels/Kaz/Dixie bullshit, I don’t care
Segment 6: AJ segment, Joe/Angle segment, Anderson segment
- I’m sorry that picture still looks like they’re hugging
- And shouldn’t Dixie be saying something about this?
- Also hasn’t Flair been touting that he banged Dixie? Is this a rehash of AJ wanting to be Flair?
- Why is a tag team feuding with a single guy? Seriously.
- Um….they’re getting into an elevator, really?
- I still don’t understand the whole point of this
- “Remember the headbutt?” Yeah, that was really the only memorable part about this feud
- This is the first we’re hearing of the controversial finish, nice to see that
Segment 7: Match 3: Anderson Vs. Hardy
- You know how the catchphrase of WWE is “Anything can happen in the WWE” TNA always says “we have great things planned”
- Stop telling people you have plans, seriously, just let things happen…we know it’s scripted, stop reminding us of it
- Wow, a movie about manscaping? That sounds as entertaining as watching Jeff paint
- Someone really should be hitting him while he walks to the ring with his eyes closed
- That was a nice counter to the through the ropes dropkick
- Taz, I doubt Jeff knows where he is 83% of the time regardless
- God if I was changing my timeslot, I’d have it plastered everywhere, not just in faded letters occasionally in the corner of the screen
- That was an excellent series of reversals for the finish
Segment 8: Match 4: Hooters Vs. Velvet Vs. Gail
- That is a very nice ring jacket for Hooters
- See here’s what I don’t get, why don’t Velvet and Hooters just try to pin each other so that Gail loses
- If Taz starts calling it a “tight package” during Knockouts matches, I quit
- Awesome roll up by Velvet during that Octopuse stretch, very nice
- “Gail Kim is a ninja” sign…is that racist?
- The two main champions Gail and Roode have both held their belts for too long, I know we like long title reigns…but when you are going through your division more than once, it’s time to drop the strap
Segment 9: Match 5: Angle vs. Joe
- Wow an image of Mickie James, where the fuck has she been?
- Ok…hopefully this will be a good match
- You’d think they mention the altercation that took place earlier, but no…since it was shot afterwards
Segment 10: Match cont.
- Oh good…more Roode
- That was a really great match, and it was nice to see there were no run-ins tonight
Logic: 2.5 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 7.5 Laganas out of 5