Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
THIS IS THE ULTIMATUM: IF JEFF HARDY WINS THE TITLE AT BFG, I WILL STOP REVIEWING TNA UNLESS THE PRODUCT IS SUDDENLY AMAZING.
Segment 1: Recrap, Aries Segment
- The Aces and Assholes thing is going on way too long with no resolution, not even a partial one
- God I hate Jeff Hardy
- Awkward ending to that segment
Segment 2: Match 1: Shiima Vs. Sonjay, Team Appletini segment
- Nice of TNA to wish Lawler a speedy recovery, and now here’s the guy who brags about breaking someone’s neck
- So…two rematches from the PPV so far tonight? Fantastic.
- Holy crap that counter into the Rings of Shiima was awesome
- Wow…awkward finish, but good match, wish it went a bit longer
- That’s stuff’s like gasoline….wow
- Um Hulk, what if both guys lose?
Segment 3: AJ/Angle segment, Roode segment
- I thought Hogan said that Kaz was going to face Chavo or Hernandez? Maybe they should have been more specific when he said “you”
- Wes Brisco…hi Aces and Asshole idiot
- Um….as far as I know you can’t go to jail for interrupting a wrestling match
- I wonder if this was originally supposed to be the World Title match for BFG and they flipped the script at the popularity of Aries
Segment 4: Match 2: Kaz Vs. AJ
- Really short match segments suck…TNA needs to start omitting entrances
Segment 5: Match cont., Hogan segment
- That DDT looked nasty
- This is the longest 10 count ever
- Oh great…there’s one more rematch booked
- So wait…Daniels doesn’t have to fight Chavo or Hernandez…that’s probably racist
- So….the guy who is afraid to fight anyone, is hired to be a bodyguard? Perfect plan Hulkster
Segment 6: Bully/Hardy Segment, Hogan Segment
- Someone needs to clock him with a chair when his eyes are closed…please
- Nothing has put TNA in “high gear”
- The WWE Universe?
- Does Hulk realize that Jeff’s nickname isn’t “The Creatures of the Night?”
- So….Aces and Assholes are really Skrulls?
Segment 7: Not Eddie and Hernandez Segment, Match 3: Daniels Vs. Not Eddie, Gut Check bullshit
- Eddie invented “Lie, Cheat, Steal” assbag
- These entrances take entirely too long in TNA
- Taz doesn’t know what idioms mean
- Besides Sting being inducted what the hell else is on the BFG Pre-show?
- Referee Stifler?
- Wow…the thing Hogan didn’t mention happened…this is shocking
- This guy has no look to him…of course he’s gonna win, where the fuck is Joey Ryan?
Segment 8: Storm Segment, Tara Segment
- TNA needs to figure out what they’re going to do with the TV Title
- MAKE OUT!!!
- I wish I could get the Champion Ship Belt
- Um…..yay for Hooters….what the hell is this?
- Oh joy….heel Tara, who the hell cares?
Segment 9: Dixie Segment, Match 4: Bully Vs. Hardy
- Hogan…didn’t you kinda lead something like this called the nWo
- If D’Lo is in charge of Aces and Asshole that would lift the ultimatum.
- What the fuck is with that stupid BONG sound?
- Shouldn’t Joesph Park…the guy investigating Aces and Assholes be in there too?
- Again, half the match is missed because of long ass entrances
Segment 10: Match cont.
- So Jeff’s shoulder is completely healed after only a couple days…interesting
- Of course as soon as I type that Bully starts to work on the shoulder
- Oh man, this is the exact same finish from the PPV…what garbage
- Yawn…one week in and TNA is still ON NOTICE.
Logic: 3 out of 5 Laganas
Wrestling: 3 out of 5 Laganas
Overall: 6 out of 10 Laganas