Mad Mike Reviews TNA:

Greetings Mayhemmers,

Okay so last week I watched TNA, the first week Sorg was there but honestly, I was so turned off by that show, the thought of watching it again seemed like torture, so I just skipped it. Here’s hoping this week is a better show.

Segment 1: Recrap, Hogan segment, Sabin segment

• Wow…Sting is back……again……yay
• TNA needs to get rid of Hogan and Sting at this point, they are weighing the company down, it’s the same problem WCW had
• Hogan…..Hulkster….Terry….Thunderlips….I’m telling you this for your own good…..NO ONE EVER WANTS TO SEE YOU AND STING FIGHT EVER AGAIN
• “At the end of the day” count: 1
• “At the end of the day” count: 2
• So all that drama was for absolutely nothing….fantastic
• This means Sting is joining Aces and Eights now right? Right?
• A six-man tag….for a group that was like 10 members….ugh
• Matt Morgan is right about everything so far
• Hulk….you know what I see in my crystal ball, Sting has already lost to Bully Ray…like all the time….oh wait, that’s Youtube
• Man I hope Sabin never gets injured again

Segment 2: Angle segment, Match 1: Sabin Vs. Shiima Vs. Dutt, Jesse/Robbie segment

• Knockouts playing cards? Wow.
• Kurt needs to go back to WWE and feud with CM Punk…like now
• HAIL SABIN!
• Ugh, the fans picked Suicide? Fucking shoot me. Unless of course, it’s Daniels and he reveals it
• Oh good….that idiot cam is back, why zoom in on a pinfall??
• They should use this DoucheCam for replays if high spots
• Isn’t that just the Cradle Shock?
• Ugh…please don’t drag Joey Ryan into this

Segment 3: Clubhouse segment, Match 2: Robbie T Vs. Ronnie, Paulie D, and the Situation

• When did Hogan and Sting mock Bully?
• I hope D’Lo brings out the old chest protector
• Oh God…this is a thing already???
• Taz is right, they do bully him on commentary
• If the three men are jobbers, does it still count?

Segment 4: Team Super Heel segment, Angle segment

• TNA needs a new tag team, or maybe like 3 of them
• TNA now has three tag teams and the two that aren’t champions are going to feud….this makes perfect sense
• “You can’t out “us” us.” Awesome
• Churro…..stop fucking talking
• James Storm….because REASONS fuckers
• Why was Kurt taping the middle of his thigh?

Segment 5: Knockout segment, Sabin segment, Match 3: D’Lo vs. Angle

• Tara looked really old in that segment
• I wish this was leading to Sabin going for a world title shit…but of course it isn’t
• This match is a rematch of Sunday Night Heat from 2001….I’m assuming
• So by D’Lo “betting his colors” if….let’s face it, when he loses, he’s out of Aces and Eights? Is that going to be the Deus Ex Machina to get rid of them?

Segment 6: Match cont.

• Impromptu I Quit match??
• See that’s a real fucking hammer D’Lo
• The fact it is 2013 and D’Lo Brown is wrestling a match is the very reason TNA isn’t going anywhere
• Baby Hebner is an awful ref
• Only Kurt could make D’Lo look this good in 2013
• So during that whole match Kurt was thinking of AJ….I’d hate to be his wife

Segment 7: Angle segment, Morgan segment, Match 4: Gail/Tara Vs. Taryn/Mickie

• Um….I thought it was Samoa Joe that brought Kurt to TNA
• Why is everyone delivering ultimatums to AJ?
• If Morgan is this angry, why hasn’t he just tried attacking Bully Ray?
• At least they took “Hot Mess” off Taryn’s TNAtron

Segment 8: Match cont,

• Wow that ad for Mickie James’ new CD didn’t sound added in afterwards at all
• I’m shocked Taz hasn’t changed “yam bag” to “clam bag” for Knockouts matches yet
• So…is Taryn’s finisher legitimately going to be “the roll up”?

Segment 9: Clubhouse segment, Team Super Heel segment, Match 5: Sting Vs. Morgan

• So there’s gonna be more D’Lo next week? When Aces and Eights beat him down right?
• The mystery partner is just going to be Jeff Hardy right?
• Wow Taz….”Hulk should lock up his bag” there was a whole 15 minute segment where Morgan stole the robe in front of Hogan
• “There will be no more handouts!!” “Sting asked for his war with Aces and Eights, and he got it.”
• That just happened.

Segment 10: Match cont.

• Morgan really needs to change his tights
• God the way Sting puts on the Deathlock looks so fucking fake
• The whole point of this hold is the angle that the back should be in which applies the pressure
• Passed out? Ugh…fucking bullshit

TNH8 Scale

Wrestling: 4 Laganas out of 5

Logic: 3.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 7.5 Laganas out of 10…..the scale says the show was good, but it just overall wasn’t very entertaining.