Mad Mike Reviews Total Divas: Breast In The World

Well since neither Bella is dating a champion right now, and this is running directly against Summerslam…I wonder who has even seen this episode.  But here we go!

Segment 1

• Oh we open with lingerie shopping….lovely
• Sweet Jeebus
• Heh the Bellas don’t even get a separate intro
• Hahahahahaha Brie hates implants
• Ariane….stop fucking trying to make catch phrases
• “ching ching” “the bomb dot com” both of these phrases need to die
• Bryan’s incredulous look when Brie says she needs to lose weight is amazing
• Is Tyson really watching WWE? Wow.
• Ha! He’s watching Extreme Rules, and Nattie doesn’t want to watch it
• Nattie really could have approached that better…

Segment 2

• 20 days without booze, Nikki is gonna be even more horrible
• Ariane is pretty much everything I hate about women rolled up into one lol
• Jon Uso stuck in the back of the car, needs to be a new meme
• Embarrassed Jon Uso is my new spirit animal
• Are Nattie and Tyson even engaged?
• Also what kind of career is Tyson really that anxious to get back to? Jobbing with Justin Gabriel?

Segment 3

• I want to stab Ariane in the neck…she’s the most immature person on a show with the Bellas
• The AC in Nikki’s apartment works well
• It’s a fun karmic roller coaster to see Nikki be upset people call her fat, when THAT’S ALL THEIR CHARACTERS EVER DO
• I’m pretty sure a 20 day juicing fast for someone who hasn’t done it before is a lot to ask for
• Ariane should probably talk to WWE if she is going to get surgery that requires at least a month’s recovery

Segment 4

• Seeing the Bellas argue about being fat makes me want to see Mickie James spin kick them
• The Bella twins not looking identical is basically their whole gimmick
• Tyson isn’t stupid…he’s Canadian

Segment 5

• This episode needs more Sara Del Ray
• Ariane clearly doesn’t recognize that the boobs won’t bounce that much when they are actually attached
• Oh please for the love of crap tell me a Bella stole the boob

Segment 6

• Ariane without padding looks like an eight year old gymnast
• Yessssssssss and it’s the evil Bella too so I laugh
• Cena is such a boy scout, I love it

Segment 7

• All of them rubbing their own boobs is a great way to end any show
• Oh finally Tyson is shown not to be a moron