Here we are with another episode of Total Divas, based on the previews we get drunk Bellas falling, so this should be fantastic.
Segment 1
- Nikki…my sister did competitive sports too, she’s not a fucking idiot like you are
- The Bellas twin language sounds like drunk murmuring
- This is a new intro and I don’t mind it
- Why did you get a dog, if you wouldn’t be able to watch it?
- Bryan laughing is amazing
- Naomi just did a rolling senton…looks like Jon Uso is jobbing again
- SARA DEL RAY!!!!
- Sara does not give a fuck about these women
- Jojo actually looks pretty good in the ring
- Hugh Morrus knows Eva can’t wrestle…she also can’t dance…she also can’t talk as seen on Raw
- What can Eva do?
- It’s not like everyone backstage doesn’t know that Naomi and Jon Uso are engaged
- Also Trish was engaged and married for years, she never wore her ring on camera…THAT’S THE FUCKING GIMMICK
- Nikki just said she took it in the ass from Cena didn’t she?
- Nikki is one of those chicks who calls out her own name during sex isn’t she?
- Moving to Phoenix for a dog is kinda fucking stupid
- This isn’t “all Bryan” since he wanted to move back to Washington
Segment 2
- Nikki you probably shouldn’t lie to the people you are trying to work with in the future
- These “producers” are fucking horrible actors
- JoJo’s boyfriend looks like the brother from the movie “She’s The Man” He looks like the one that isn’t Channing Tatum
- Eleven months Jojo, congrats you officially have maybe the third or fourth longest relationship on the show
- The Bellas do some weird fucking stretches
- JoJo’s boyfriend…what the fuck is up with your high socks?
Segment 3
- This show needs 100% less Hugh Morrus and 1,000,000% more Sara Del Ray
- At least this show hasn’t had any Cameron yet
- I don’t think I’d mind seeing Sara Vs Naomi
- Jon Uso is kinda a dick…no wonder his dad ran over Austin
- Cure for camel toe = a pad, food for thought
- Boobs also cause camel toe for Nikki
- Nikki used the words “lifes” god she’s the worst
Segment 4
- Sara Del Ray in a RAW shirt makes me smile
- Nattie is basically saying “JoJo fuck a wrestler, it’s totes easier”
- Nattie is gonna be there for JoJo because it’s the only way she gets more TV time
- “My toes are disgusting” – John Cena
- Cena rubbing his nipple needs to be a gif
- I love how Cena avoided saying the word fiance
- John Cena is the voice of reason this week, thank God
- I can finally tell the Usos apart…one of them is really fucking insecure
- NAOMI…PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON WHEN CLEANING UP GLASS YOU IDIOT
Segment 5
- Bryan and Cena’s beef with each other on this show seems more genuine than their one on Raw
- Nikki really wants to show off her tits
- Oh fuck it’s Cameron
- UTI, Tonsilitis, and a yeast infection….Cameron within a minute I hate you even more
- The match the Bellas and the Usos Vs Tons of Funk makes no sense storyline wise
Segment 6
- Also in traditional mixed tag rules, guys and girls are forced to tag out so….yeah she shouldn’t be worried
- I wonder why we never saw this match
- OHHHH IT WAS ON SUPERSTARS, THAT’S WHY!!!
- Nikki being a proper heel makes Jojo and Eva mark out
- Jojo and Eva are such fucking marks
- Thank God Jon Uso knew to flip over….
Segment 7
- I don’t think we are getting drunk Bellas falling down…
- NO FUCKING FALLING BELLAS
- So Naomi was with someone for 5 years….she’s 25 now, and her and Jon Uso are talking about marriage
- How fucking long have they been together?