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Mad Mike Reviews Total Divas: Maximum Legwork

We’re coming close to the end of the first half of Total Divas and after last week’s Vegas shenanigans, let’s see what happens.

Segment 1

  • Who the fuck has always dreamt of being in Maxim?
  • Vincent and Cameron are really the worst fucking people ever
  • Cameron can’t even push fake buttons properly
  • Cena just seems like a damn great dude
  • Nattie clearly doesn’t give a shit about Maxim
  • Jojo doesn’t know what a “push” is
  • My ears are bleeding
  • My fucking ears are bleeding!!
  • Um. Do either of you actually want to wrestle??
  • Having your parents meet your partner’s parents doesn’t automatically mean marriage idiots
  • Cameron has already made two button pushing references…I hate her
  • Hey look it’s AJ and Kaitlyn!!
  • That shin doesn’t look deformed
  • Wow young Nikki actually looks like a decent person

Segment 2

  • So this Maxim shoot is basically this
  • evamarieJohn Cena in a coffeehouse is weird
  • Um Nikki, your career survived you guys taking almost 2 years off
  • Cameron gets her dogs nails done….she is the worst person ever
  • I’ve finally figured it out, Jojo is Ashley from Fresh Prince
  • Hey Jojo, maybe if you learned how to wrestle more than one bump….you’d stand out more

Segment 3

  • Jon Uso is having none of this singing talk
  • Jojo also has clearly never met Lilian Garcia
  • Wow nice attempt at a dead lift German suplex there Naomi
  • Brie is forgetting that she debuted without anyone even knowing Nikki existed
  • Oh man Nattie with the unintended Hooters Slam!
  • Oh fuck this sounds awful
  • Naomi’s dad seems fucking awesome though
  • Vincent is awful, and his father is awful

Segment 4

  • I appreciate the idea that Jojo had, but my God is it awfully executed
  • Vincent needs to stop wearing things around his neck
  • This is something you should probably have discussed beforehand Vinny
  • The best reasons to propose to someone include: cultural reasons and “because my daddy wants it”
  • Ross and Rachel these two are not
  • A break kinda means that you do go somewhere Vinny

Segment 5

  • It’s 3 months Nikki….your man was out for months and months at a time, calm your tits
  • Oh great…Cameron is the fucking Flava Flav of this group
  • Vince is such a fucking pimp, I love it
  • HAHAHAHAHAAHA Bray Wyatt is following buzzards in the background

Segment 6

  • They couldn’t get Jojo a matching outfit?
  • Thank God Jojo realized they sucked
  • It sounded just as bad in the studio FYI

Segment 7

  • They really should have tried this out on house shows
  • Nikki…it’s a slight fracture, calm the fuck down