Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Aries segment
- Why didn’t everyone wait for Aces and Assholes like they did last week on Impact at the PPV?
- God why does this have to be ruined by Drug Hardy
- Doesn’t anyone realize that calling out a faction that uses sneak attacks doesn’t work?
- Why doesn’t everyone just stay at ringside the whole show, then Aces and Assholes won’t come out
- God if the Bound for Glory Series ends with Bully Vs. Aries….I’d fucking love it
- “Excuse me, Calfzilla?”
- Oh look Bane is back in the Impact Zone
- YOU CAN’T ROLL DICE AND GET A HAND IN POKER!!!!!
Segment 2: Magnus segment, Match 1: Magnus Vs. Joe, Maddy segment
- It’s cute that Magnus thinks he can still win
- At this point, people are mathematically eliminated from the BFG Series, so they should have a “spoiler” angle where someone in the bottom tries to screw a Top 4 guy
- Wow…quick match, and so much for that whole “Joe always trying submissions” thing
- Okay, I take that back…good explanation Taz
- Yay Maddy!!! The Queen is back!
- They should really record a commercial that doesn’t have Morgan in it
Segment 3: Maddy segment
- Madison has been the anchor of the Knockouts Division for almost two years now
- So wait, did TNA do this whole thing just so fans could chant something that sounded close to “You Screwed Bret”?
- Oh no….oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, please don’t tell me Brooke is going to eventually wrestle
- Wow, someone actually was waiting for Aces and Assholes to show up…this is good
Segment 4: Sting segment, Daniels/Kaz segment
- What good is calling Aces and Assholes out again? Seriously…they’re in the arena, everyone go look around to find them…that place isn’t that big
- “Claire looks like The Lizard” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that’s the best thing to come out of this story
- AJ…just get the fucking paternity test anyway, or better yet…watch your own show and ask Claire why she was smoking
Segment 5: Match 2: AJ Vs. Daniels
- How does an Interim Wrestling Commissioner have the ability to control who can get a paternity test?
- Again…TNA doesn’t know how to space out their matches
Segment 6: Match cont, Sting segment, Hardy/Storm segment
- Nice Koji Clutch there Daniels
- I hope this is the feud ender match for this
- Wow, that was a great finish
- God what a waste of TV time
- Waste of TV time x 2
Segment 7: Roode segment
- Wow a whole segment to show that there’s no storyline for Roode….awesome
Segment 8: Gut Check segment, Match 3: Hooters Vs. Maddy
- Can we have one Gut Check person without some horrific tragedy in their life? These people aren’t superheroes
- Way to fuck up Christy
- Brooke…you can’t use phenomenal to describe someone that isn’t AJ
- Tiffany is a ref…hope she doesn’t beat up any of the guys
- Tiffany is the smartest ref in the history of professional wrestling
- Jesus…why must we revert immediately back to Hooters?
Segment 9: Bane segment, Match 4: Hardy Vs. Bully
- You’ve been waiting for someone to call you out Aces and Assholes? THEY’VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR THREE WEEKS
- Hey morons, if Storm was behind Aces and Assholes…why didn’t they make sure he won the Tables match?
Segment 10: Match cont
- “Tap to my calves!” Can we please make Bully the next champ after Aries
- Nice cursing on a live show there Nero
- The leader of Aces and Assholes are definitely none of these guys
- Yup and now Ace and Assholes attack Storm, sounds right
TNH8 Scale
Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 4 Laganas out of 5 (this is mainly for the AJ/Daniels match)
Overall: 8.5 Laganas out of 10