Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
THIS IS THE ULTIMATUM: IF JEFF HARDY WINS THE TITLE AT BFG, I WILL STOP REVIEWING TNA UNLESS THE PRODUCT IS SUDDENLY AMAZING.
Segment 1: Recrap, Match 1: Storm Vs. Aries, Kurt segment
- Carly is here, that already bodes well
- They seem to have tightened up the intros at least for this match
- This crowd is desperate to count to 10 once
- That was actually a really good match, so of course there had to be interference
- Wow Kurt, way to invite one of the Aces and Assholes to Bound For Glory
- After all that AJ has been through with Team Appletini…why does he listen to anything they have to say?
Segment 2: Sting/Hogan segment
- Why has Hogan turned “man” into “mon”?
- Team Appletini is out here to save this segment
- “Heath, Thunderlips…” God damn, stop making me like you Kaz
- Nice to finally see a reason Sting is always dressed in his gear
- Hogan can’t even get the botched gimmick name right
Segment 3: Match 2: Hernandez Vs. AJ Styles, Aces and Assholes segment
- Christy Hemme pan shot: 1
- What the fuck was the finish? Was that a pounce?
- Why are you playing chess if you guys represent playing cards?
Segment 4: Shiima segment, Hogan/Sting segment
- Shiima getting mic time? This I approve of
- “There’s no X Division!” truer words were never said
- Shiima vs RVD for the X Division strap at BFG? Well played….wasn’t expecting that
- God I hate Hogan
Segment 5: Brooke segment, Match 3: Team Appletini Vs. Sting/Bully
- “I am Tara-ing my hair out” god shut the fuck up Brooke
- Brooke is Hollywood elite? Jesus.
- So is Tara’s Hollywood boyfriend anyone besides Eric Young at this point?
- God I hate these shortnened segments
Segment 6: Match cont.,BFG package
- I think its funny that Hogan doesn’t trust Bully, but Bully was in Immortal
- So is TNA’s Hall of Fame really only going to consist of one member?
- There really are only 5 Knockouts left aren’t there?
- “Bully get the tables!”? Doesn’t he know D-Von was the slave in that outfit?
- What fans are calling Aries Vs. Hardy a dream match?
- Aries….if you want those things, you should probably go to the WWE
Segment 7: Joey Ryan segment, Joe segment, Match 4: Gail Vs. Hooters, Roode segment
- He’s going to be fun when he gets a contract
- Hey look! Someone called Devon to get the real TV Title back
- Magnus is so much a better character than Joe
- Magnus should win the belt and somehow turn into a BBC gimmick
- Christy Hemme pan shot: 2
- Welcome back Y angle lens…jeez
- Did Mike Tenay just say “asstastic”? Sounds like he was getting reemed afterwards, because there was a long silence
- Gail needs tighter shorts…
- Nice spiking powerbomb by Gail
- King Mo is entirely worthless
Segment 8: Match 5: Roode Vs. Hardy
- This entire segment was just a breakdown of the PPV card and Roode’s intro….yup
Segment 9: Match cont.
- Hardy has way too long of an intro
- King Mo is an enforcer not a ref right? So when Hogan said the real refs gave up, he was just being stupid right?
Segment 10: Match cont., Aries segment
- I see nowhere on the TNA website to vote for which will be on the Bound for Glory preshow
- Good main event that ends in a DQ as per usual… but at least for Roode it kinda made sense
- Wow…is it a pipe bomb if no one is around to hear it?
- They really blasted Aries through the CM Punk timeline didn’t they?
Logic: 3 out of 5 Laganas
Wrestling: 4.5 out of 5 Laganas
Overall: 7.5 out of 10 Laganas
What happens on Bound for Glory this week will determine what kind of column is here next week. Either I will review TNA as normal, or there will be a Top Ten list of things that TNA desperately needs to fix. Enjoy the PPV for those of you that will illegally stream it.