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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: No Birthday Party For Serge :(

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recap (cuz it was good…not crap), Hogan segment

  • They really shouldn’t call it “the return of Open Fight Night” if they do it every month
  • Female Gut Check participant? Interesting.
  • Hogan doesn’t know what “go for broke” and “go for greatness” means
  • Can we just call him Awesome Aries please?
  • Nice to see they gave Roods a new entrance graphic
  • I really don’t care about Anderson at all

Segment 2: Match 1:Anderson Vs. Daniels, AJ/Dixie segment

  • James Storm should really just cause a DQ in every BFG Match and he’ll automatically be in the final four
  • Seriously how is AJ, who is sleeping around on his wife, the face in this angle?
  • 10 Minute time limit is a good idea for these matches
  • And we just did this match to show off Daniels’ new shirt right? Right.
  • Daniels isn’t the one wrecking the marriage…until we hear about the surprise party for Serge anyway
  • Did Anderson bring his own ring rats?
  • I’m tired of AJ/Dixie…I really am

Segment 3: Brooke segment, Match 2: Angle Vs. Robbie E, Gut Check package, Magnus walking

  • They really need to stop these HD closeups on Brooke
  • Isn’t ODB already half the Knockouts Tag Champs?
  • Oh good they just said that
  • Didn’t last week Brooke say that three girls were going to fight Hooters?
  • So….ODB….who is tag champs with her husband is fine, but Madison who has a crush on someone isn’t? Oh fine then
  • Wow….Robbie E might have been tapping the “Easy Button” for Angle there
  • This chick has HUGE FUCKING EYES
  • I kinda want Magnus to win the BFG Series

Segment 4: Match 3: Magnus Vs. “The Phenominal Homewrecker” AJ Styles

  • God I hate this AJ/Dixie/Daniels/Kaz thing…please stop, it’s ruining otherwise good matches

Segment 5: Gut Check match

  • This girl is TNA Ready, she has her hoodie already
  • Well that was a quick match, but I like her
  • I think she would help freshen up the Knockouts Division
  • Pope…please slap Jeff, please please please….I’ll buy Elijah Burke gear I promise!!

Segment 6: Bully/Park segment, Match 4: Joe Vs. Storm

  • If the BFG Series somehow led to an Aried/Bully match at BFG I’d totally be cool with that
  • Nice to see that since Crimson lost his streak he’s essentially off TV
  • Oh no…did Joe revert to his “losing every week” gimmick from last year’s BFG

Segment 7: Brooke segment, Match 5: Pope Vs. Bully

  • Ah so they kicked out ODB for the same reason as Madison
  • How is Bully going to get 10 points when he doesn’t use any submissions?
  • Abyss coming out telegraphs that Bully isn’t going to win
  • Brooke said last week it was gonna be four girls in the match…

Segment 8: Match 6: Hooters Vs. Mickie

  • Labia count: 1
  • Nice to see this will probably be the start of Mickie’s heel turn
  • Wow girl in the front row in the Jets sweatshirt is not happy at all…

Segment 9: Match 7: RVD Vs. Hardy

  • Neither of these guys seem high right now…this is a good match
  • Holy tattoos Jeff
  • 450 from RVD???
  • Holy Twist of Fate bump
  • Excellent match from those two!

Segment 10: AJ/Dixie bullshit

  • Wrestlefan: So AJ Styles is married to CM Punk’s sister? WTF?
  • So this entire thing was about protecting an addict?? What horseshit.
  • Well at least this angle is finally done
  • This was such a fun show until the end…just like last week

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5, except the last segment…that gets a 0

Wrestling: 5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 9.5 Laganas out of 10