Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Dixie segment
- Is this really how you want the owner of your company portrayed?
- This is why WWE makes a distinction between Vince McMahon and “Mr. McMahon”
- Why didn’t she just fire Daniels and Kaz months ago?
- She’s pointing out that Impact doesn’t screen anything they run…awesome
- How is Dixie a face because of this?
- Daniels should say that she found someone to fill her hole
- Seriously…how the fuck is Dixie a face in this???
- Wow awful fake punch Serge
- STOP CLAPPING YOU IDIOTS
Segment 2: Match 1: Crimson Vs. Aries, Hogan rambling
- That water spray was the start of a feud…YUP, that’s how bad this product is
- The PPV is Sunday, and we have TWO matches announced….way to go TNA
- Of course Joe interferes…God I hate TNA
- Crimson has the least “impact”ful “undefeated” streak in wrestling history
- If Crimson ran through everybody…wouldn’t he be the fucking champion?
- Has it really been over a year of this bullshit? That’s pathetic
- I have no idea what any of Hogan said
Segment 3: Knockouts segment, Hogan segment
- God Brooke looks awful in HD
- Oh good Mickie James heel turn….I guess
- Get it? Because she’s “Hardcore Country” so she should be in the country video
- Did Dixie fuck Montgomery and Gentry to get them so much exposure?
- Emo Sting kid is back and he brought friends…I want to taintkick all of them
- This better not end with Hogan winning the World Title….this better fucking not
- Roode has said Hogan is jealous for like five week in a row now
Segment 4: Joseph Park segment, Match 2: Velvet Vs. Mickie Vs. Tara Vs. Hooters
- ABYSS HAS BEEN ON THE FUCKING SHOW! WE FOUND HIM ALREADY!
- “Don’t Mess With Tess” worst catchphrase ever
- God such a short segment of the match…that sucks
Segment 5: Match cont., Bully Ray segment
- Hey Gail, Velvet actually beat you for the championship once…just a hint
- Gail is awful on commentary
- 4 Way submission is a lot of fun
- The Hooterbuster again?? Jesus.
- Did Bully just use the word “fiduciary”? Nice
Segment 6: Hogan segment, Contract signing
- Between the actual show and the Rent-A-Center commercials, this show has entirely too much Hogan
- Even though this is live it still feels really scripted
- I think I’d actually wear that Bully Ray shirt, that’s nice
- Isn’t spitting in his face like….assault? Can’t he sue?
- This is actually pretty awesome
- That was a damn good Abyss promo
- CAN DEVON FIGHT SOMEONE OTHER THAN ROBBIE FUCKING E????
- Devon beat both Robbies in a fucking handicap match???
Segment 7: Joey Ryan segment, Match 3: TV Title Match
- Yay Joey Ryan is at least back on TV
- Wow that was an awful match
- Madison’s crush is Earl Hebner isn’t it?
- “Your dick muscle is bigger than Devon” – Wrestlefan
Segment 8: Anderson/Hogan segment
- Wow….a three way for people who have all lost to Roode multiple times…awesome
Segment 9: Match 4: 6 Man Tag match
- Oh darn AJ isn’t coming out
Segment 10: Match cont.
- Anyone with the name AJ is getting #ballsdeep
- Wow Sting made Roode tap two weeks in a row…no way he’s gonna lose at Slammiversary
Logic: 2 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 5.5 Laganas out of 10