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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: The N.W.Whatever Attacks

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Preshow snippit, recrap, Sting segment

  • Sting is in a pre-show snippit and he looks like Sting Noir, or a lead villain in Batman and Robin
  • Cute girl in the front row is going to be fixing her top all night, I’m ok with this
  • Oh good…this is probably what should have happened last week, I hope Garetttt and Devon don’t come out
  • Ha live TV, nice recovery Roode
  • Wow, really saying Storm is behind this? I guess that means Aries will be the champion at Bound for Glory

Segment 2: Segment about Chavo, Roode segment, Match 1: Gail and Maddy Vs. Mickie and Tara, Aries segment, Gut Check segment

  • Does anyone really give two shits about Chavo debuting
  • Wow Kid Kash, you are horrible at talking
  • Can someone get Wayne Arnold off my TV screen
  • Oh fun, Earl is the ref for a Maddy match…this could be interesting
  • This is also where I should say, I’m deeply saddened by Velvet departing TNA
  • I think Mickie got new implants…holy fuck
  • So now they just mention that Sting is in charge yet again…when he said he didn’t want to be in charge, awesome leadership Dixie
  • Hahaha awesome finish, giving Maddy the win when the camera showed Mickie popped her shoulder
  • This could be a good angle…though it probably means Brooke intervention so it’ll suck
  • Aries making cuts? Shouldn’t Dixie be the one to do this…you know, the president?
  • This Gut Check guy is already annoying as fuck

Segment 3: Segment about Chavo, Match 2: Gut Check match, Aries segment, Chavo package

  • Ew, Gunner and Hernandez
  • Thank you Bully Ray for being awesome
  • I said this last week, Sam Shaw is the Example 1 from the Create-A-Wrestler in WWE12
  • Yay Joey Ryan!
  • The lighting in this segment is completely fucked up
  • Why is it that all of the segments like this fucking suck? Is it because they aren’t scripted?
  • Wow….so that’s what they used all that Ring Ka King footage for

Segment 4: Chavo segment

  • So wait…all this fucking hype, and he’s not even wrestling tonight?
  • Hey Chavito, the only reason so many people are hungry backstage is because they don’t get a chance to be on TV
  • Oh Jesus, Kid Kash and Gunner…really?
  • “Where is your family?” That could have gotten really awkward
  • Especially since Hector works for TNA
  • At least Chavo is better than MeX-Pac

Segment 5: Gut Check segment, Claire recrap, Match 3: Styles Vs. Storm

  • They’re trying to give young talent a chance? NO ONE HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW SINCE THEY WON
  • Also…Al, this show is recorded, you can go watch the tape
  • Claire is a rapist
  • At this point I feel comfortable saying TNA doesn’t pay Christy enough to buy bras

Segment 6: Match cont.

  • Claire is just not an attractive woman, I’d imagine AJ would have better standards
  • Grand Canyon University arena sounds like the most bootleg arena ever
  • A great match ruined by the nWo…I mean the Nexus….I mean Aces and Eights

Segment 7: Gut Check bullshit, Aries segment

  • Sam Shaw, don’t you dare steal Wade Barret’s taunt
  • God, I hate this whole concept…this is awful
  • Just once, I’d like to see the first two people agree
  • TNA Judges requirements: 1. Be a face. 2. Be bland.
  • Repo Man reference is the best thing on this show so far

Segment 8: Match 4: Shiima Vs. Kenny King, Bully segment

  • Hahahahaha Prichard didn’t know they were filming
  • I think Kenny just knocked something off the turnbuckle
  • Shiima I fucking love you
  • I like the genuine pleasure Taz had in seeing a Tazplex
  • Roode run-in?? Weird, I kinda like it
  • I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Bully need to be World Champion by the end of the year

Segment 9: Match 5: Bully Vs. Angle

  • A piledirver! Yay!
  • Wow short segment

Segment 10: Match cont

  • This is another decent match…this will probably get interrupted
  • Bully Bottom!!!
  • Wow it ended clean
  • Sting just take your time to the ring
  • Well that was a sad ending

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 2.5 Laganas out of 5

Wrestling: 4 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 6.5 Laganas out of 10