Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: FIGHT. Match 1: Aries/Kenny Vs. Shiima/Roode
- Apart from TNA starting with no sound, this is a nice change of pace
- Aries fighting Shiima though is spectacular
- Holy shit, there are ring rats in the front row
- I kinda wish this didn’t lead to the match right away though, considering this was supposed to be the main event
- Nice to see that @SupportingJCena watches TNA….seriously
Segment 2: Match cont., Recrap, Sting segment
- TNA doesn’t know how Twitter works, they just showed two different pictures for Dixie’s account
- Was this crowd chanting “shitpacker”?
- Nice to see Kenny get the win in the match
- Did we really need the awful recrap package
- Oh wow…asking someone in wrestling is always the best way to go
- You know what also works? Ripping the masks off of people
Segment 3: Sting segment, Claire the Rapist
- Another phrase that needs to be eliminated from TNA’s vernacular “we’ve known each other for a long time”
- It’s weird to hear the complete lack of crowd noise during interview segments
- Kurt, no one benefited from you being attacked because you didn’t have the fucking match
- Kurt, Aces and Eights waited until you won the match, before they assaulted you…whereas they didn’t wait until the Storm/AJ match was over
- I don’t want to see an in-ring baby shower
Segment 4: Match 2: Bully Vs. Robbie, Maddy segment
- Well…this should be quick
- Yup…it was
- “Earl would never screw anyone………..in a match” But he will take blow j’s
Segment 5: Match 3: Mickie Vs. Maddy Vs. Tara Vs. Gail
- Hooters needs to learn to not make grunting noises when putting on headphones
- Maddy has the best theme in TNA since Winter seems to be gone
- What the fuck is up with Mickie’s face??
- Wow….really wasting an entire segment on the entrances??? REALLY???
Segment 6: Match cont, Brooke segment
- Heh…Hooters doesn’t want to call anyone easy
- I think Gail was going for a chest bump, but Maddy went for a hug
- They’ve asked Hooters what would happen if Tara wins three times so far
- Hooters really doesn’t have to sell on commentary…
- Though I could imagine someone who is crafty with editing could take all these moans, grunts, and the “keep coming” comments and make a porno out of it
- She also said “so close” so yeah…there’s that
- I’ve determined that 95% of everything Hooters has said so far can be used in porn
- Nice to see that the audio people knew exactly who won right away…also Tara doesn’t know her own music
- Hooters should never be on commentary again
- Jesus…thanks for helping out the Knockouts division Brooke, you idiot
- God she is such an awful actress
Segment 7: ODBEY segment, Match 4: Kash Vs. Chavo, Dixie segment
- Eric Young is phenomenal
- For all the hype they gave Chavo, he’s still in the lower midcard
- Chavo’s TNAtron only says his last name….
- This match screams midcard on Velocity
- Chavo is just being Eddie here with like 80% less charisma
- Eddie’s probably thinking, “What you doin in Florida Holmes??”
- Everyone is selling out AJ now, terrific
Segment 8: Angle segment, Baby Shower bullshit
- Who the fuck is this, Wes Brisco?
- Hey Wes….they have this Gut Check segment…get in line
- Does this count as Devon’s TV Title match?
- Way to help promote TNA by saying that AJ is banging skanks
- Why the fuck does Claire look so surprised? She’s been watching the show
- God this segment is awful
Segment 9: Joseph Park segment, Match 5: Angle Vs Storm
- Kay-FAB might be the best part of this segment
- If Aces & 8’s really have the potential to attack from anywhere…shouldn’t these guys be ringside all show?
- Dixie didn’t announce any stipulations for Hardcore Justice did she?
Segment 10: Match cont
- Roode’s new shirt is fucking awful
- This is such a slowww match
- Ha Bully just looked under the ring for Aces & 8’s
- God if this is really leading to Storm Vs. Roode I’m gonna be very disappointed
- Why would Aces & 8’s come out to the ring where everyone is, when Brooke Hogan is the one they’ve threatened?
- Aces & 8’s doesn’t have music…
- Maybe they’re not here because there’s 8 people out at the ring waiting for them?
- The worst finish to a show is a non-finish
Logic: 2 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 2.5 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 4.5 Laganas out of 10