Home » Blog_entries » Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Pondering What To Do…Brother

Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Pondering What To Do…Brother

Apr 7, 2012

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Hogan segment

The group of TNA faces looks like the fucking WCW/ECW Alliance
TNA has way too many wrestlers to have them all around the ring
Don’t you think there’d be some sort of contingency in case Hogan turns again, Dixie can just fire him?
“I met with Creative” wow.
“Lots of new segments” wow.
Hogan can’t figure out his own product….that’s tremendous, maybe he should listen to the crowd to see who should face Gail
Also I don’t think Hogan remembered Gail’s last name
The silence in that arena is deafening at times
Did anyone really want Anderson back?
So is Anderson a face or a heel? Last week he wrestled Jeff, this week its Roode…
Jeff is asleep during the meeting

Segment 2: Hardy Vs. Angle

The Olympic tights Angle has are pretty cool
You guys, I’m pretty sure Carly has given up on Impact Wrestling…I see her mediocre looking friend, but not her…such a shame
Oh man bachelor party tonight…

Segment 3: Match cont., Flair segment, Calfzilla segment

Kurt sold the Twist of Fate like a Stunner…weird
Wow, Jeff is no-selling the fuck out of that ankle lock
Ah….so countout leads to a cage
Yes, Calfzilla Vs. Aries is going to be a thing! I love it!
I think this is unofficailly the death of Lethal Lockdown, unless the AJ/Daniels/Kaz bullshit gets turned into that

Segment 4: Calfzilla segment, Joseph Park segment

I really hope TNA World Champion Calfzilla is a thing this year, please let it be a thing, I’ve watched way too much of this shit to not get that payoff
“I have eaten chicken wings bigger than you.” – Calfzilla
I love how the one and only time TNA listened to their audience it was to, at least for now, turn Aries face
Okay, I’m officially tired of this until it moves forward, this Joe Park better not be Abyss with memory loss

Segment 5: AJ/Storm segment, Match 2: Knockouts 6-Way

AJ Vs. Storm, sounds boring to me
Winter’s theme song is still awesome
Can’t they change Angelina’s TNAtron??
Maddy’s song is great too
Wow…a whole segment giving everyone their entrances? Really?

Segment 6: Match cont., Anderson segment

Thank God it looks like at least Winter wants to stick to her gimmick
Taz made the exact same “Mom, I made the big screen” joke last week…odds he does it next week? 1000:1
Never understood why you would want to take yourself out of a match like this, it means you can’t win
Madison and Aries as an on-air couple would be the greatest thing ever in TNA
Velvet almost just did the “I’m sorry, I love you”
Anderson needs a new gimmick, seriously

Segment 7: EY’s Bachelor Party, Match 3: Storm Vs. AJ; Sting/Hogan segment

Manny Fernandez reference, amazing
That was an extremely disappointing segment
Speaking of disappointing, here’s James Storm
It’s not that this match is bad, it’s not…AJ rarely has a bad match, it just doesn’t mean anything
AJ just being used as fodder is really unfortunate
I’d feel really bad if I got showered with beer at Impact and then tried to go on some rides
“Sorry about your damn luck” isn’t really the end of a promo, at least not in the way he uses it a lot of the time
Hogan sending Sting home, oh Jesus
This is the second time old men have used “911” when not talking about an actual emergency, shouldn’t they just have MedicAlert bracelets?

Segment 8: Storm partying with rednecks, Match 4: MCMG vs. Mexijobbers, Flair/Bischoff segment

Well that was pointless
So…countdown until the Guns get a tag title shot? I say it’ll happen by the end of this show
Countdown until TNA breaks up the Guns…I’ll say 3 months
Maybe less than that, they already have different tights
Remember when Hernandez was good?
Sabin still looks like he has a bit of ring rust on him, but nice to see them back
Wow, they actually said he’s a two time Hall of Famer

Segment 9: Hogan/Bischoff bullshit

Eric forgot what year it was, I thought it was just me that thought this was 1998
Let’s be honest, the Impact Zone isn’t that big of a room
Oh fuck…this is the Lethal Lockdown match, oh fuck no
Okay so Eric, Gunner, Flair, Daniels, and Kaz Vs. Garretttt, AJ, Anderson, Devon, and RVD??
So wait, Hogan has the power to change people’s last names?

Segment 10: Roode/Storm segment, Match 5: Anderson Vs. Roode

Storm’s cousin Devon just made the Taz word of the week: pintacle
He meant pinnacle…he’s a dumb redneck
TNA is also dumb for not editing that
Just looked at the Lockdown website, apparently MCMG Vs. Joe/Magnus and Devon Vs. Robbie E are both matches…
Who the hell does that leave for either person on team Bischoff?
Eric, Flair, Daniels, and Kaz Vs. Garrett, Hogan, AJ, and Anderson??
Wow, TNA only has house shows booked until the start of May…no wonder they don’t sell out
Hey Taz, didn’t ODB and EY say last week they were going to have their wedding at Lockdown, not next week?
Wow a Best-of-Three series with team that we don’t even know yet…what a build
WHY WAS A CHILD HOLDING A BEER??
Why does this feel like a go-home show, when next week’s won’t?